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bloodyfingers , 24 Oct 2010

Child Abuse

Just wondering how many dermatillomaniacs have a history of child or domestic abuse that they think may have contributed? I can't think of a clear cut reason, but i've been picking since I was 5 or 6 and have been abused since I was 4 or 5 till I was 18. I'm working on this with my therapist, and anyone willing to share the type and extent of abuse would be helpful too. (verbal, sexual, physical.etc)
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Clu
October 25, 2010
I was picked on a lot at my first grade school where I went from K to 2nd grade. It was one of the bad neighborhood schools with lots of blacks and hispanics etc. Anyways I guess I made a good vunerable target being a short little white boy. Anyways I hated my life back then and the abuse I got from that school probably hurt me a lot emotionally which I took out on myself till this day still. I never had any kind of abuse from my family, my home life was the best, it was just being the small kid in a bad school that did me in. Even when I went to a catholic school from 3rd grade on the other kids still gave me crap for my appearance, thankfully it wasnt as rough physically but I was still called names or made fun of. Kids are so cruel sometimes, I think a lot of us get our emotional baggage from experiences like these.
bloodyfingers
October 25, 2010
Do you think you can pinpoint why your problems manifested as skin picking? My mother abused me till I left home at 18 and i'm thinking maybe part of why I started picking was because she didn't leave cuts and bruises anywhere obvious so i'd pick at my face and hands out of resentment to show the world I was hurting. Just a theory. I know it always embarrased her and at times fueled her abuse, but I liked being able to control something that she couldn't and upset her for once about something I had control over. Skin picking's like this major mystery. My best friend growing up did it to but had a good childhood, and my husband picks his lips and though he had an unstable childhood filled with manipulation and guilt, was not abused.
Clu
October 25, 2010
I think because I was picked on and made fun of so much, I chose to be alone and never talked to anyone about it, I bottled up all my feelings. Before my obsessive skin picking started like any kid I picked at mosquito bits, then after I started hating people and myself I'd take it further and pick at the scabs. I think a lot of us become fixed on skin picking because its the first release we find, scabs are on our skin 24/7 and it takes seconds to find one and rip it off. I think I started because I was sad, angry, alone, depressed and did nothing with my time. I mean nowadays I hardly never pick at work or while I'm out running errands, it always happens while I'm alone at home when I have time to just sit around and stare at myself. I know my problem started because I went to that school, I probably took the other kid's cruelty too seriously, I didnt have many friends so it was easy to feel alone and worthless.

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