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PixiePixie , 07 Jan 2011

Looking for a quit buddy.

Hi, I'm 27 years old, female, and i've been picking my face, arms, and anywhere else i find a blemish every day since i was twelve. In the last year, however, i've made some major moves towards quitting--doing yoga, taking acetyl cysteine, and being honest with my boyfriend and some of my friends about my problem. For this, i've had several 2 or 3 day stretches of no picking, but i haven't gone a whole week or more yet. Now i've got the bathroom mirror with the awful florescent vanity lights covered in butcher paper, and i'm ready to make an earnest effort to quit for at least a solid week (for starts). But the butcher paper bathroom won't be enough--i'll still need to refrain from using the mirrors at work, or in any bathroom i use outside of the house, from using the flip-down mirror in the car, and from picking my arms, legs, chest--sigh---etc. That's why i'd love to email/chat online with someone who wants to buddy up for a week or more to quit. I'd like to be supportive, encouraging, and open to someone who'd benefit from the same. Sharing stories would be awesome, as long as we're not beating ourselves up. PM me if you're interested.
10 Answers
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wolfandthefox
January 07, 2011
I don't know how to PM you as i am new to this whole thing i always thought i was alone in this but apparently not, somehow knowing what this is has made it worse in my mind i feel like an emotional wreck i want to stop so badly. i have always been so exceptionally proud of my nails because they grew so perfect looking and i hate having them short but i have cut them all for the first time in years and i am determined to stop scarring myself. oh im 22 and a woman.
Shorty999
January 07, 2011
Ahh...the flip down car mirror...I HATE THAT THING!!!
rachel_e
January 12, 2011
Hi PixiePixie. i'd like to buddy up with you too! I'm also female and 27 and have been picking my face since i was about 15. Since finding this site and giving it more thought I've realised I've prably picked in one way or another since I was really young (before I had any idea what I was doing). I am so desperate to stop now. I've recently broken up with my boyfriend and he was the only person I'd been honest with about it. He didn't really understand but at least would notice if I'd been in the bathroom too long and shout at me! That was great coz often I don't even realise I'm doing it. But it's such an unattractive habit and I can't help but feel it contributed in some way to our break up. I've been feeling really low recently and it's time to stop picking now - it just makes me feel bad about myself and I've got enough other stuff to make me feel like that at the moment haha! I think having people to check in with who are going through the same thing would really help me. Good luck to you - I really believe we can stop this! Tomorrow is my day 1...
specialK
January 14, 2011
Rachel your story really hit home with me. My boyfriend recently broke up with me. It was so irrational and out of the blue I feel like something as simple if I could have just stopped picking, would have changed everything. Ha he'd notice when I was in the bathroom too long too. I even got laser hair removal on my stomach and around my nipples because I tend to pick where there are little hairs. I never told him that cuz it didn't much help anyway. He hated it so much that I would pick my boobs, for obvious reasons. He would say, "you have to keep those in pristine condition for me." But it was almost like the more he didn't want me to, the more I would, like I wanted to prove to myself and my pride that he would love me anyway, that I needed someone that would love me anyway. I guess it's caused problems with passed relationships but my whole family kind of does it so I've never given it a ton of thought. Anyway, I'm curious why you think you do it and whether you pick other people too?
rachel_e
January 14, 2011
specialK, i'm sorry to hear you're going through a break up too. It really is awful. I think my boyfriend kind of put my picking to the back of his mind. he was pretty wrapped up in himself to be honest!! But it definitely made him uncomfortable. And I do think it contributed to our break up in some way. I definitely see it as connected to general anxiety which I seem to suffer from on and off. I know when I get anxious I drive myself crazy and hate feeling like that, and that I hate picking and the way it makes me feel about myself, so I assume that it must have been unpleasant for him to be around me at times. I'm trying not to hold it against him, as it's understandable and it's something I'd love to change about myself. I see where you're coming from when you say that you wanted him to love you anyway as I think I used that logic to myself a bit too - like he should accept me totally or support me better to help me stop. But if I'm really honest, I don't want someone to have to love in spite of the face I have this problem, I want to not have the problem!!! And I never laid out to him exactly how he could help me (I don't think I really faced up to it properly until now), so how I could I expect him to understand what I was experiencing and know how to help? I can't work out why I pick. As I said, it's definitley anxiety related and I can really relate to the other people on here who describe going into a knid of trance when they pick. It's like I can think and process things while I'm picking and it calms me. But then of course I wake up the next day and my face is a mess which makes me feel bad again - it's a vicious cycle. I don't pick anyone else and have never had the urge to. Why do you think you pick? If you can (and believe me, I know how hard this is) try not to dwell too much on how whether things could have been different if you hadn't been picking, just try to use it as a catalyst to make you stop if you want to. I never want this to affect a relationship again.
PixiePixie
January 15, 2011
Hi Rachel E! I'll have my day 1 again tomorrow, too. I just made it 5 days, which makes me super happy, but i didn't get to the whole 7--i went on a spree today, but i'm not feeling too down about it. Dust yourself off and try again! Maybe with someone else to quit with, i'll make it longer. ****************Also, i love that this forum exists but.... i can't really write on here, and i have a hard time reading other people's writing. I just can't get past the lack of paragraph separation, it drives me nuts, making it seem like every idea is lumped together and rambly. I'd much rather talk about this in email, where i can organize my thoughts so they seem coherent, and follow someone else's written thoughts in the way they were intended. My email is isntanymore@gmail.com. Let's do this thing!
cherrycolalola
January 14, 2011
hey pixie! Ive been picking since I was 13, Im 21 now. Ive had some success, like you, but its not consistent (probably bc when I slow down with the picking I reach out for help less). Im trying to change things around and do as much as I can to stop now. Id love to email with you sometime. I agree, beating ourselves up doesnt help. Im already abusive enough to myself haha. im @ flwrpwr2011@gmail.com Hope you had a good day. Take care :)
Marie
January 14, 2011
Hey, I just joined the group and I really like the idea of the "quit buddy". I am 27 years old and would be happy if I had someone to keep in touch with to support each other. If you like, write me a mail : mariedenoir@yahoo.com. Would be great to stay in touch!

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