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No one else seems to have this problem, even though its all picking..
Does everyone only talk about their face, arms, scalp, feet, etc because thats truly the only things they pick at? Or am I just disgusting?
Here is my biggest picking problem.... I'll just throw it out there even though I'm very ashamed and even more embarrased because no one else seems to have this problem. I don't know if its an addiction or OCD, but somehow when I was around age 14 I started picking at the skin around my vagina and anus. The skin would bleed in little patches, heal a bit, and then I would scrape it back off. It would itch really bad if I tried to let it heal. The more I scraped, the bigger the thin scrapes of skin (or scabs I guess). Yes, it does feel good. It releases tension as well. My family never wanted to sleep in a hotel bed with me because of my "nasty scab issue."Yes, we are a very communicative family haha... My dad picks too. But he picks his hands and around his fingers mostly. Anyway...
Now I am 26 and am still doing it. I will never have sex in the light because my private areas are scared and nasty looking. I do not have an STD, its just mental I guess. I find myself unconcious on the toilet, at every visit to the bathroom, using my fingernails to scratch off dead skin and the scabs bleed a little. I do not want them to bleed and hate it when they do, it just happens. I am not unsanitary. I wash my hands very well when I am finished, feeling totally gross that I have to go through such a thorough process for picking at my privates. Sometimes I will wake up at night and am picking them in my sleep...
Also,and just as important, I know if I look at my face in the mirror I will pick at every bump. I always check for blackheads and zits on my back, neck, armpits, chest, and even my elbow pit (if thats what its called :). But this doesn't feel good like picking around my privates does, it feels like a necessary process during bathroom visits. It used to be for hours, but somehow I cut that down to a couple of minutes each visit (enough to have 5 or 6 pinch marks on my face when I go back to work). Then, there is picking the cuticles and hang nails.. I gave up on picking my friends and family members, they obviously hate it.
I want to think none of this has to do with self-mutilation and that its OCD. I used cut a little in the past and haven't done that in 2 years. But, I don't feel like I am trying to punish myself when I pick. I think picking is fun and relaxing. I always knew something wasn't right about it. The doctor told me to wear gloves around the house and everywhere I go...yeah okay...and the creams didn't do anything!!! Long since given up on a cure. Help! This is a cycle from hell.
In reply to I wish I had someone to talk by Picker26
In reply to I have heard of several by Nightshade21
In reply to No you're really not alone by masquerade