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cecilia , 01 Feb 2011

Holding myself accountable starting... NOW!

Hi Everyone! I've been hopelessly addicted to picking since I can remember... and I'm now 20 and tired of wasting my youth destroying my skin and my self confidence. The two areas that are the worst for me are my back and face. I can't wear certain clothes, and some mornings I wish I didn't have to face the day. Well... you have all heard this before. I've decided to start, like a few other people around here, to not pick for the entire month of February. I'm nervous and I'm doubting that I can do it. But I want this so badly. I'm writing this in order to hold myself accountable. If anyone else is interested in trying this with me... maybe we could hold each other accountable? No one in my life knows about my problem... and I think I need support. But either way, let the challenge begin! Any tips? I'll try to file down my nails, but somehow that never seems to stop me... P.S. Has anyone seen Black Swan... where she scratches herself? Though I pick... not necessarily scratch... I really identified with it!
29 Answers
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sho1234
February 06, 2011
Cecillia-how are you doing? Ive got that nervous and doubting feeling aswell atm! Its horrible!
sun
February 06, 2011
just remember guys that after picking u will feel horrible and worse than before and regret dooing it and ur whole day or even the next day will be wasted...i have taken an oath not to do it again....i cant take this pain nemore...its extremely painful to go through the whole healing process n then doing it all over again the next day....IM DONE!!!! im nt a weak person n neither r u guys...we can do nething...i mean cmon man has landed on moon...climbed the largest mountain etc n all we need to do is just stop picking!!! cant we even do that??? now whos with me...ive decided to report back to u guys everyday....writing abt it calms me for sum reason...i told my bf n he was supportive n all but i cudnt relate to him as i can wid u guys actually i got a little mad when he casually said "so y dunt u stop already?" he really doesnt get how hard it is to stop and the frustration when u cant stop........i am going to do this...im better than this...i feel strong for some reason...nomore slow painful death!!!!
cecilia
February 07, 2011
Hey Sun! Congrats for taking control of the situation!! It's such a relief to understand more about why this happens to us, huh? I like your enthusiasm and optimism... you're right... we CAN do this! We just have to take it one day at a time :). Report back every day!! I'm finding that this forum really does help me. And it's good your boyfriend is supportive, though he can't understand the compulsion... it's something strong that compels us to destroy our skin. He can't know how it feels. But in the end, we can overcome it!
cecilia
February 07, 2011
Ohno! Isn't this awful? It's day 6 and I'm going to admit that I've picked at my back a little. But it wasn't too bad. Today I literally found myself with my fingers on my face ready to start... I somehow caught it and walked away. It shouldn't be this hard... but it is. Do you still have the nervous feeling?
monkeysocks21
February 08, 2011
Hey hope everyone's doing well! Have had to start again (must be the fifth time in two weeks!), but so far so good. Maybe it helps if you can find someone (not always easy I know) who you know, as well as the people on here, who's giving something up? I was getting back into my old habits recently, but yesterday my fiance said he was gonna try and stop smoking again, and has had his habit nearly as long as mine! Felt soooo tempted today, but we agreed that if one lets go, the other one's allowed to, so we're holding on for each other's sake lol! It's only the first day, but already I feel this has invigorated my new attempt, whenever I'm about to pick or squeeze, I just think of him having to have a fag, and the fact that we'd BOTH spoil our good work! It might help, even if the other person's addiction isn't as intense. :)
cecilia
February 08, 2011
Guys!! I just picked at my shoulders. I have been doing great with my face... haven't touched it for 8 days and my skin is clearing up. But I think that I think my back isn't as important because it's easier to hide. Bad news... I let myself get away with it. Now I'm regretting it. I was even thinking in my head that I should stop, I should stop... but then I would think, just one more... it shouldn't be this hard... it's like something takes over my mind.
monkeysocks21
February 08, 2011
Aw don't worry, we all have our little slips (well I do anyway!). Just try to focus on how bad you feel now the next time you want to pick, maybe even write down how you are feeling now that you feel guilty, then read it the next time you feel the urge? And anyway, it's the trying and not the failing that counts :)
sho1234
February 08, 2011
Just remember cecillia that-that 'one' time turns into an 'everytime' and if u werent so sure of this- this is why you are on this forum. You are in a cycle that you cant get out of! Think to yourself next time u get an urge to do back. 'No,i am wise to you,i will only do it again so no'. Then take a deep breath and erase it from your mind. The longer you leave it the stronger YOU get and the weaker 'it' gets. Great news about face-well done!! Keep it up x
sun
February 11, 2011
hey guys just wanted to sort of update on my situation. i have not picked or even touched my skin in 5 days wohoooo im glad with myself....actually studies are keeping me busy and now i am okay with not even applying makeup before going out. my skin is healing...actually i also have exima....that is extremely dry skin in cold and since i live in canada the weather is awful, extremely cold so my skin is vvvvvvvery dry so im more concerned about that at the moment not about picking. also this site and all of you have truly helped me alot...i think for me the reason for stopping is to get knowledge about this disorder and accepting it....

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