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nomore , 04 Feb 2011

Does anyone else feel this way? NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. My skin is a disaster and always will be

It doesn't matter how long I stop, MY SKIN STILL LOOKS FUCKING HORRIBLE. i have this one spot on my face. I didn't pick for a week and it wouldn't GO AWAY! So i finally just said fuck it. I broke my 7 day no skin picking,... it just makes me want to cry. Like I'M RUINING MY LIFE. Sometimes I feel like I try SO hard and NOTHING happens. My skin still looks like shit from past years of picking and nothing I can do will make them go away! I finally decided there must not be a God. I'm such a kind and compassionate person, I always put others before me... I feel like this is a curse, and if there was a God then I have been praying for a LONG time and I don't think he hears me. This is ruining my academic career. I am a very smart girl. I could be there making A's, but I'm not because of my skin. I'm not making any relationships with new people because of my skin. I am a very pretty girl,... until you get up close and see my skin. IT SUCKS. I feel like men look at me because they find me attractive, then once they get closer... well, I don't feel like I need to say much more. I used to cut myself when I was 15.That's also when I started picking. I hear if you are the depressed type, you always will be. I feel like fucking dying. I try so hard and nothing happens. If there is a God, he obviously hates me
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nomore
February 04, 2011
and if he hates me it's obvious. He's made me hate myself too. What is the fucking point? My skin is about to make me throw away my life. I'M TRAPPED.
aruthc
February 05, 2011
I feel the EXACT SAME WAY! This obsession over our skin I think is affecting us more than the actual state of the skin we are in. I noticed that I only pick when in front of a mirror that shows my imperfections and it's like I can't resist. I try putting paper over the mirror to cover it and that really seemed to work for me. I can't look at myself and seeing the paper there is a constant reminder for me to not pick. However, when people come over, I have to take it down. I had a really cute boy over last night so I took it down (obviously I don't want him to think I'm a psycho or something) so after he left, when I went to wash my face, I picked again. FUCK! So now I've decided that before I wash my face or anything, I must put the papers back up. I know how you feel about being pretty until you look at your skin. I feel like it prevents me from wanting to go swimming, hooking up, and even exercising sometimes. I'm comfortable without eye makeup but not without cover up. =( I want to be able to not wear make up again.
nomore
February 06, 2011
we feel the same. i just had to come back and comment on what i said about God. He doesn't hate me. I read a lot and I think he was testing my faith. I prayed a lot yesterday and I prayed again today. I prayed to God and told him that I realize that he has all the power and without him I am powerless and a fool. If God feels it is best to leave me with scars, then he knows what is best, his will is best and I accept things the way they are. He doesn't hate me, and for that, I shouldn't hate myself. If my scars remain, they remain with reason and I accept that. Now is time to move forward. Time to please myself as well as God and earn my way into heaven. If God feels like the best thing to do is leave me with these scars, I trust that he knows best and they will remain with reason. It's time for me to earn my spot in heaven and show myself, as well as others, what I am capable of. Looks aren't everything. I've been blessed with a beautiful mind. Somebody within the same mental state as I will be able to understand and see that. I will find love one day, but the first step is loving myself; accepting things the way they are and understanding that I have the power to make things better. No more picking. It's time to love myself so others can love me too. I told God that I do not want to hurt myself or others any longer. I'm facing my demons head on and showing myself and the world what I am capable of. It's time to go out there and kick all of the arse I know I am capable of kicking. Today, I accept myself and love myself. No more picking. I'm healing today and tomorrow and planning on kicking serious butt on Monday. This is a fresh start! I can not change the past, however, I am in control of my future and it is up to me to make sure that my future is as beautiful as it possibly can be. I will love myself, scars and all. Maybe they will go away, maybe not.. and if not, I know it is with reason. I love myself. Learn to love yourself and suddenly the future seems a lot more bright. <3deb
nomore
February 06, 2011
PS:::: the not looking in the mirror thing really does help to. I noticed that not only did it keep me from picking, it also made me feel a lot better about myself. by not looking, my obsession is non-existant! it has helped my face heal a lot better as well. before i would rub my scabs with anti-biotic trying to force them to come off and then the healing just takes longer. by not looking in the mirror, i feel at ease. i think i will continue to not look or set times for when i am allowed to and when i'm not allowed. not looking makes you care a lot less! it's a blessing. UGHH i have hope! i'm ready to kick butt and stop hating myself and obsessing so much. it feels really great right now, and i know by keeping it up it will only make me feel better. it's amazing. good luck to you.
fed-up
February 05, 2011
I'll be 35 this summer and have struggled with skin picking since I was 13. Mine was triggered by my parents divorce and getting acne at the same time. Until a few years ago, I thought I would just be a picker for the rest of my life. I started doing some research cause I just couldn't accept the fact that my inside didn't match my outside. I realized that I have OCD and needed to see a dermatologist for help with the acne. I found out that I had a staph infection from picking and that was the straw that broke the camels back. After antibiotics for 5 months and using bacterial wash every day, my acne is almost gone, which has significantly reduced my picking. DON'T GIVE UP HOPE! Go see a dermatologist and be open with them that you have a problem picking. They may have a referral for someone in your area that can help. Also confide in someone who is understanding and not judgemental. That can be hard since most people think you can just stop, but you cant. MOST IMPORTANTLY, FIGURE OUT WHY YOU PICK. Get professional help and commit to stopping. I'm still in process, but I look forward to wearing a spaghetti strap tank this summer without being ashamed of my skin!
meg78910
February 06, 2011
first of all i want to say i relate to you sooo much.i feel like acne is a curse. but we all have a cross to bear. just because you have acne doesnt mean there is no God. you have to admit there are worse things than acne.(i know it doesnt seem like it sometimes) there are a few bible verses that have helped me to stop picking at my face so much. ephesians 5:29" for no man ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it,just as the Lord does the church" and especially this one-proverbs 26:11"as a dog returns to his own vomit, so is a fool to his folly." this means if we keep doing self destructive things the consequences are nobodys fault but ours. there is another solution to acne that i have found and i thank God for showing it to me, its the perricone diet. the perricone prescription by Nicholas Perricone.buy the book! he connects acne to diet. read what to eat and what not to. IT WORKS!!! please dont think there is no God.remember in heaven there is no acne. there is definelty a God and His son can save you soul!!!and if he can save you soul from hell he can surely clear your skin!! Dont doubt it!!!

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