Life outside of picking.

Hi! I know how you feel - I know how much it hurts. It is the most embarrassing thing in the world to have to go out with huge scabs on your face that even makeup won't cover up. What I hate most though is the lying - having to lie about what I've been doing or why my skin is so bad. Some days it does feel like it would be better just to stay inside and never come out again. But the thing is it really isn't! I don't know about you but being on my own is just about the worst thing I can do on a bad day because then I just pick even more! I have two suggestions for you which are really tough but they helped me so much I want to share them. The first is about going to free counselling - we have a nurse who I had to see first who then referred me to to the counselling service and going to see her was the hardest thing. I didn't even say anything before I burst into tears, but she was very kind to me and although I don't think she fully understood I didn't feel judged and actually it sounded like she sees much weirder/scarier things all the time! She equated my skin picking to 'self-harm' which isn't exactly accurate but she was very supportive all the same. Then I went to the counselor who said she had actually seen other people with my same problem and understood much better what I was going through. I stopped going over the sumer and then never got back in touch because the problem with me is I'm an eternal optiist - I always think I can stop picking on my own but it never happens! So I am back in touch with them again because ppicking is still so so bad and I'll have another session with a counselor soon. The second suggestion is this - tell someone about your picking! Does anybody know about it? I never told anyone til last year and the people I told were so ok with it. Not much help, but it felt good not to pretend anymore! Then over the weekend I told my sister, who I thknk was the most important person to tell. She wasn't surprised at all - let's be honest, no matter how hard we try this isn't always an easy problem to hide! She was so glad I'd told her and she helped me loads over the weekend when we were together by stopping my hand every time I went to pick. Of course I ruined all the healing my skin did as soon as I got back to university by picking for until 4 am, but still my skin looks better than it would have done after a solid week of picking! I am planning on telling my two best friends at uni about this but I am really scared. I want to explain to them about it because they suffer from my skin picking too - I expect so much from them when I am feeling depressed after I've picked or when I cancel our plans because I don't want to go out! I' not sure when I'll tell them but I really want to encourage people not to suffer alone - it's so great to have found this forum and I love not feeling like I am alone but sometimes I need a hug from someone who knows me really well - and that means knowing about my picking! Hope that is helpful? Fell free to disregard everything I have said - it helped me but everyone is different. Try to stay positive and don't give up! What you said about failing school applies to me too by the way - I have had so much trouble because of picking eg the other day I missed an exam because I picked all day before. I'm supposed to write something positive about myself on this thread so - I am clever and creative. On good days I am a fun person to be around and I know how to cheer people up when they're down usually, though I'm not much help when I'm feeling down myself. I like painting and one day I want to write and illustrate my own children's book :) Keep going everyone, don't let your picking define you IT IS NOT YOUR IDENTITY. Even when it feels like it defines you, this is not who you are.

I relate to everythingggg, legit, I'd be pretty if it weren't for this problem. I was really popular in high school, but since coming to college I haven't been able to make as many relationships because of this insecurity. I didn't go to any classes today, lied to my teachers, roommate, etc. It needs to end as I have been saying to myself for years now, which scares me because I have never been able to stop. But I just started using this website and I will do whatever it takes and so should you because I don't want to fail school after coming so far to get here and I want a normal job, marriage, have this not effect my kids. I mean the stuff I have read on here about people in their middle ages still dealing with it. The time is now for both of us. Best of luck.

same same same. i'm in my first year of law school right now. it practically took an act of god to get me to quit my secure banking job, rack up a gajillion dollars in debt, and pursue a dream. so.....it makes me even more depressed to know that i'm ruining things with my picking. not only is my face messed up. but my legs are a MESS. and i spend at least 1-3 hours a day picking and fidgeting. it makes me sick to know i could be spending all that time productively studying and working on my schoolwork. the entire time i'm picking, yes, i'm in a trance, but i also feel like i'm screaming at myself to stop and i just can't. it's like i'm watching myself doing it. and i'm screaming "stooooop. you have to study! you're better than this. this is a complete waste of time!" and yet, i watch myself continue. when i finally rip myself away and leave the bathroom or wherever, it feels like i haven't taken a breath the entire time. like i haven't been breathing for an hour. i feel like if anyone at school knew i had this problem, they would be horrified. and also feel superior b/c it shows that i'm weak (we're aspiring lawyers after all). anyways, keep trying, you can definitely finish school!!!! take summer school if you have to, you can do it!

do you like the yeah yeah yeahs? I posted a link at the bottom of my post. i think karen-o has scars too...