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paigerz924 , 21 Feb 2011

Cold.Turkey.I.Am.Strong.Enough.

I was diagnosed with psychogenic excoriation (chronic skin picking) when I was 12 years old, and now, at 22, I have decided that a decade of hiding my face has got to end. I have tried every treatment available, from hypnosis to presciption medications to psychotherapy, but I have been unsuccessful. My boyfriend and I had a huge fight about my condition a few weeks ago, and for the first time I truly realized how much my picking effects other people. My parents were always supportive and understanding and tried their hardest to help, and I know that I hurt them with my picking--they didn't want to see their beatiful little girl hurt herself. But when I saw my boyfriend cry the other week, I knew I had to stop. I did a research paper on my condition as a senior in high school, and I remembered coming to this site and reading the blogs. They were very encouraging, so I have decided to join. Today I am stopping face picking cold turkey. Nothing else has seemed to work for me, and I believe my will-power and support stystem are strong enough to get me through this. I have taken the tweezers out of my purse, and I am going to stop. I have done this a few times before, and I was even successful for about 3 months at one point, so I know I can do this. My 19-year old little sister was diagnosed with Lymphoma last month, and she is so inspring. Despite her condition, she is training for a triathlon to raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. She is living every day to the fullest, and I know that that is what I need to do. Picking my face and then hiding at home or behind tons of makeup is no longer going to define me. I am going to stop picking. There are so many things in my life that I am grateful for, and so many things yet to come that I know I will enjoy more if I don't have to hide. From this day on, I am no longer going to be a skin-picker, and I encourage anyone out there who is ready to stop to follow this blog and share your opinions. I could use your support, and I will be here to support those who are ready to stop as well.
33 Answers
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nomorepickingplease
February 23, 2011
Hi, I'm 20 and have been picking at my skin since I was 12 too. I have decided to try cold turkey too, starting today! Almost every day I try to stop picking and I never manage it. One thing I've learnt is not to give up if you just pick a little bit - it's really hard to go cold turkey after 8 (or in your case 10) years of picking!! The problem is once I pick even just once I don't see the point in trying any more so I keep picking for hours and then it gets really bad. Best thing to do is to stop as soon as you can then write it down somewhere so you don't feel like you've 'cheated' on cold turkey - that way you can see if you make progress as days go on. How are you doing so far? Anyway I'll be trying it too so let me know how it goes - keep trying, don't give up, we can do it!!
paigerz924
February 23, 2011
I have the same problem--once I pick once I feel like I've already picked again, so I keep picking and decide to try to stop again the next day. Luckily, this time I haven't picked, so we'll see how it works out. I've tried the writing it down thing in the past...it was relatively effective, so I might try that again this time. Hopefully I'm on the right track this time, and being that I joined this forum and there are other people out there encouraging me this time, I think I can do it. I'm glad that you are trying to stop as well--it's nice knowing that there's someone else out there going through what you're going through. We can do this! Keep me updated on your progress!
nomorepickingplease
February 24, 2011
Glad to hear it's going well for you so far! I nearly managed a whole day today - best day I've had in a long time! Unfortunately picked a bit before I got into bed which is annoying but oh well I'm trying to stay positive. Have decided to set myself the goal of 15 days with as little picking as possible, with the aim of going a day without wearing face makeup at the end of it... I'm not sure if I'll actually follow through with that because I have only been out without makeup on once in about 5 years, but hopefully it will motivate me to keep picking to a minimum. I'll let you know how I'm doing - day 1 tomorrow! How are you coping with not picking? I felt so on edge today I felt like I needed to tear everything up around me it was horrible! I think just knowing I can't pick makes me really anxious. Hope you are still doing well :)
paigerz924
February 25, 2011
Keep your head up! You can do this! Trust me, I know how hard it is. I've caught myself just about to start picking and then immediately distracted myself with something else so many times this week! It is extremely difficult, and I know that, but I just keep telling myself that one day soon I will be able to go out without putting makeup on and feel good about myself. I keep telling myself that I am strong enough to get through this, and you are too! Whenever you feel the urge to pick, sign on here and share your thoughts. The support of others (along with the distraction) might help!
lexyw
February 25, 2011
paigerz - how are you doing? is today day 3? i'm on day 1 and just picked at a cuticle. cold turkey is really hard, almost debilitatingly so. i like to think that since i joined this forum, it's not really "cold turkey" anymore? maybe warm turkey? i just picked at the cuticle and instead of continuing, decided to come online to read. feeling better already...good luck!
paigerz924
February 25, 2011
Today is day 5 and I already see so much improvement! I've gone longer than this before, so it is still not set in stone that this will be final bout with picking, but I feel stronger this time than before. Cold turkey is hard, and it takes a lot of willpower. I've been trying to keep myself distracted with other things every time I feel myself about to slip. I'm glad to see that you are doing the same. Keep it up! You can do it!
anonymous31894
February 25, 2011
today is day 2 and i'm feeling really hopeful! I have legit been signing on here more than my facebook to remind myself why i'm doing this, that there are other people struggling, and looking for tips everyone shares and its great. I think if I keep up with the check ins then i will be able to be successful. That and I am determined to be confident...I have never been able to quit before, so what makes me think this will really be it? I mean its almost scary to think of my life after ridding myself like even though I hate it, I'll be naked without the habit. But I'll be free! And what makes me think I can be successful is myself convincing me and being confident that I can do this and change.
paigerz924
February 25, 2011
I know how you feel. I've been logging in here a lot lately, too. I've had a huge urge to pick today, and I don't know why. I've been trying to right down my thoughts and what's going on when I find myself about to pick, and mostly, there is no trend. Getting on here helps me to stay motivated. Knowing that others are stuggling with the same compulsions and trying to overcome them really helps me feel like I'm not along in the struggle. I keep thinking about how great it will be to hear my boyfriend and family tell me how great my face looks, and knowing that they will be happy for me makes me even happier for myself. Stick with it, and know that you can do it!
lexyw
February 25, 2011
me too! i just picked a dry scab off my face and i was starting to feel terrible. but i reminded myself that i didn't squeeze, didn't sit in front of the mirror, and didn't end up bleeding. i then came right here to read everyone's posts. THANK YOU. maybe it's creepy, but i think about everyone on here when i have an urge to pick and it helps remind me what the bigger goal is. good luck today!
paigerz924
February 25, 2011
It's not creepy at all--support has been the thing that has helped me the most in all my attempts to stop picking. Although it has been great, you have to remember that while we are all here for you, YOU are the one that has to stop. Keep coming here and posting and/or reading whenever you get the urge to pick, and hopeuflly you will defeat this. That is what I have been doing, and I think it's really working. Stay strong!
polkadot
February 25, 2011
Hello, I have been plauged with dermatillomania since childhood, and cannot redily identify why I do it! It is like an obsession with having smooth skin and I cannot stand the feel of a scab on my body whether it's on my face or anywhere else, so I pick it! Now as a mother I find myself doing this even more because of the stress that comes with parenting and marriage! I sometimes won't even notice I am doing it until substancial damage has already been done! I really do need help! I tell myself that this is disgusting and that I would have smooth skin if I could just stop! I put bandaid's on certain areas of my skin and let them heal while I pick the rest of my body. I fear misquitoes in the summer because I know if I get bit, I will scratch, and scratch, and scratch! I have had misquito bites that don't heal until well past November. I finally confided in my husband about my problem. He couldn't tell because he has a vision problem, but I am sure everyone else notices. I just want to be better, I cannot do it myself! I don't feel depressed, just occasionally stressed! I want to quit along with you! And what a releif that I am not alone in my suffering. How great to get this off of my chest and not feel like an outsider! I think that we could help each other more than anyone else could understand! I am going to quit cold turkey along with everyone else! It's high time! We can do it together!
paigerz924
February 25, 2011
Congrats on confinding in your husband. Often times, that is the hardest part. You never know how the ones you love are going to react. Will they be confused because they don't understand why you do it? Will they understand? Will they accept you? It's scary, but you did it! Also, congrats for joining this forum and taking the first steps--talking about your problem and pledging to defeat your compulsion. I know exactly how you feel--I know that if I just stop my skin will heal and be smooth, but I can't stand the thought of the scab/bump/whatever on my skin at any point in time. Right now, I am doing well, but who's to say that tomorrow I won't start again. All it takes is one little closed pore or blemish that is invisible to anyone else but me. I know, though, that I need to stop, and I have committed myself to it this time. Knowing that I have the support of everyone on this forum and that I am strong is really helping. Please keep us updated on your progress! I know that we can stop!
NM
February 26, 2011
Hi, I'm 23 and literally last night read that what I do is actually a recognised problem. I had no idea. I've been reading about it all night until I had to sleep and continued to read as soon as I woke up. Usually I scratch my scalp for a long time before goin to sleep, but because I was reading I didn't at all...so I figure I should be able to go cold turkey as long as I can distract myself. I have been doing it as long as I remember but luckily have no scars (that I know of as it's mainly my scalp which my hair covers) so reading about others who have to hide what they do has made me realise in comparison I am very lucky - and I should be able to stop as well. Thanks for writing up your stories everyone, so inspiring and good luck!
polkadot
February 26, 2011
Today is Day 1 for me! I could have started yesterday, but didn't decide to quit until half way through the day, you know how it is.... it was already a lost day! But today, so far so good! I think that having my husband around on the weekends makes a differance, but he has a four day weekend, so I should get off to a pretty good start! It feels better just knowing that I can go to other people about this! Good luck everyone!
nomorepickingplease
February 28, 2011
Ok so the last three days I went away to visit a friend and so didn't have the chance to pick barely at all - managed less than one minute each day which was great. Of course once I got home I picked again for an hour :( not so good but I am determined to try cold turkey again tomorrow - am really going to go for it this time. I am allowing myself 15 mins in the mirror tomorrow to put on my makeup but I'm going to set a timer to go off so I don't spend too long there. Then will try not to look at my skin or touch it for the rest of the day - if I don't touch it I can't pick it! Am taking this one day at a time. It's been absolutely ages since I managed a whole day without picking so tomorrow will be tough but I WILL manage it - have even painted my nails to remind me! Thank you for all the encouragement everyone. Keep trying every day!!
anonymous31894
February 28, 2011
The timer works reallyyy well. I know before I started using a timer, if I heard my phone go off it would snap me from my trance to think more of what I'm doing/how long I had been there and pull me back to real life. Good Luck you can do this!
paigerz924
February 28, 2011
I've tried the timer thing before. It's pretty effective, as long as you stick to it. I'm glad to hear that you did well this weekend. Just keep that positive attitude up, and I know that you can do this! I had a slight lapse this weekend, just for a few minutes--no major damage, but I am a bit disappointed. I cut my nails and am not going to touch my face at all today. It's already starting to look better, and I really really really want it to stay that way. Good luck! We can do this!

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