Stopping for good this time.

Wow, been reading through the forum just now and seems like everyone is hitting a rough patch about the same time. Guess it really proves just how hard we're all finding this. Haven't been perfect myself. Picked two whiteheads that were easy to justify (did it properly with tissue etc) but then went and did a blocked pore on my nose. I know its just one, but it was really totally unnecessary. I've known it was there for ages and i've been dying to do it. Told myself that I had to do it to unblock the pore but honestly, no one would have been able to see it but me, so really, deep down, I know it was cheating and I only did it for the satisfaction. Might not seem like a big deal, but it's exactly the kind of thinking I want to break out of. Don't know if I'll ever be able to. Trying not to touch my face today because I think there's still stuff inside the whitehead I picked on my chin and i'll be in the mirror trying to 'fix' it before I know it if I don't keep my hands from touching my face. Its only when I do that that I can feel it. Sorry everyone, I tend to try and be a bit more upbeat and encouraging. Guess I'm just frustated today. But, on the upside, I have NOT destroyed my face once since I started trying to stop. And I am now able to go outside without make up on. I'm trying to do positive things for my skin instead. Like giving my self facials, or putting on a lovely expensive face mask. Things I wouldn't normally spend time and money on. It makes me feel like I'm treating my face instead of punishing it. My skin needs a break from all the torture I've given it over the years!!!

Well done guys-keep going. Any1 feel like they have to check as you know the state of every pore, bump and and that if you dont for a while- u have lost track of it all, then you see a few small blackheads, bumps etc- its all a bit overwhelming and you think that if you had checked etc you couldve prevented that from happening. Then you dont know where to start and at this point you usually just start to mindlessly squeeze it all out. ?

I'm new! I did an online search today and I feel so hopeful since finding this forum. I'm 27 and I've been picking at my face for over a decade. I kept thinking life events would put an end to the compulsion- college, dating, marriage, motherhood. Nope. I'm just as bad as ever. Well, it's always a roller coaster but I can't say I've made any improvement since it began. I've tried all sorts of things. Bathroom in the dark, a bit of counseling, journaling, opening up (to husband), fake nails, removing all mirrors, and now this! I was reading about all the various causes of this shared symptom we have but I can't figure me out. I'm a bit of a perfectionist and I suffer from anxiety and stress but significantly more than others? I don't accept that. I've always thought of picking at my face as the problem and although I've probably always known better (got my degree in psychology) I still think that way. I believe my life is good aside from this issue. I have a supportive husband and a healthy baby girl. I love that I no longer work full time and I spend most days at home with the baby. I know I'm really fortunate. I know I pick to 'sooth'. When I'm engaged in the activity I do go into a sort of trance where I can break from the negative feelings momentarily. I feel better during and I feel terrible afterwards. I can usually leave scabs alone but bumps (even if they're deep) and blackheads don't usually stand a chance. I can't remember a time I didn't have some amount of scab on my face. I swore to myself before I got married (4yrs ago) that I would leave my skin alone so it would look nice on my wedding day. Nope. That memory is particulary painful and demonstrates just how strong my urge to pick is. Here's another one: I've used the small mirrors on my baby's toys to pick (when all the mirrors in the house were down and hidden). I can't go to my mom's house without fearing her bathroom (the one where it all started- low depth countertop and lots of light right about the mirror). I bought a facial package at a benefit dinner back in October. My goal is to use that certificate! If I can go for a facial, it will mean I've laid off my face long enough to be scab free! My husband also made a deal with me- he won't 're-up' his 'WOW' account (which he gave up for Lent (I love that so many people are trying to make Lent a time to heal!) if I can stop picking at my face. I've had no good days since Lent started but I think he'll let me 'win' if I can just show significant improvement by Easter. What is everyone doing to address/discover their underlying cause? Has anyone had any luck beyond 'more stress generally= more picking'. I'm starting to believe, just now, that whatever caused me to begin down this path long ago, is not particularly relevant anymore. I think it now might just be an ingrained coping mechanism that no longer requires much of a trigger. How else can I be having a good day, justify a little peak at my face and have my day turn to bad due to my picking and nothing else? This is such a mystery to me. Thank-you everyone for your posts. It's so nice to be understood and know that as I read through what you shared, I felt so much empathy. Our feelings/struggles are so alike and that is reassuring and validating and I feel strangely 'normal' here. I hope I can be of help too!

Hmmph. My resolve is slipping. I can feel it. Hoping I can stop it before it disappears! Doesn't help that my skin seems to be breaking out loads at the moment, just when I need less temptation. Maybe its coz I usually destroy the pores before they reach the stage of a whitehead, or maybe its because I'm constantly running my hands over my skin to see what I can feel which can't be good for it. Up till now, if i'd had a whitehead, i've told my boyfriend and told him I'm just fixing that one. But even that didn't work yesterday! I was in the mirror. Did one. Then did another, justifying that it was hurting, so if I fixed it I wouldn't be as aware of it but then before I knew it I was starting to pick a third one! Damn it! 3 seconds and my good intentions disappear. Crap. It's like, i've been doing so well, I now think i'm strong enough to do one or two without failing but its not true!! Must stay strong.

I guess on the optimistic side of things, one side of my face is very clear and looks beautiful...the other is raw and swollen ever(i think i squeezed a healing infection?) ugh so i have been putting all sorts of stuff and icing it all day cause i go home tomorrow for the first time in almost 3 months. Saying that makes me realize that there is this one mark on my clear side that was picked last time I was home and is sitll healing, wow. And i specifically remember it being a bump no one could really see.......aren't they always. Anyway it sucks but its also kind of neat to haave one side completely clear cause I'll be looking in the mirror all upset and then I switch to the other side and realize what I'm working towards, so if I want to pick I can always turn the other cheek. Have not yet been able to leave my room today and obviosuly I will have to tomorrow so I really hope some sort of healing takes place. Good luck everyone. Oh, today would ahve been 21 and you know it really is 21 for my chin and left cheek, so I guess I'll start 21 days for theright side and forehead. Maybe others of you could benefit from regionalizing? I know my manicurist told me to do that to ween off picking my nails. Definitely might be a good strategy for those of us who find cold turkey too overwhelming.

U can get the other side clear-ur half way there! Remember,sum small spots are way better to hav for a short while rather than wounds and redness which wil stres u out for a while! X llama06 ive also been noticing lil spots and i think thats gna be inevitable unfort bt i supose its cos of the squeezing etc. Ive been puting a tiny bit of garlic or teetree on any lil bumps i see to stop me picking, as im reassurd that this will stop it from going further and starts shrinking it. X

Day 2 - Ok sooo I am doing ok so far! I was doing super well until just a minute ago when I spent a while picking at some pores on my upper arms and a bit on my chest, but it wasn't so bad. Usually that would have meant I would give up completely and pick my face, but I made a deal with myself that if I stopped I would let myself carry on to day 3 tomorrow. I have not picked my face and that is the worst bit for me so I am going to carry on to day three tomorrow. I think part of the battle is fighting all the weird stuff that goes on in my head when I think about picking. The fact that I picked a bit will really bother me which is why usually I would have spent a few hours attacking my face because weirdly that would bother me less. But I know that is irrational so I am allowing this small slip up and continuing.

Alright. I started picking and cutting my face 6.5 years ago. It was really intense for 3 years leaving me with multiple nasty scars on my face. I stopped for the last 3 years, got my shit together. 6 months ago I started getting spots over my arms and chest which I started picking slowly. Nobody knows what it is yet and a few weeks ago had a biopsy done on my abnomen. I've damaged that wound too much and started "stabbing" my face with whatever, causing some bruising. Although today I felt good and fine after doing some real damage I have to stop. I don't want to go back.

soooo tempting today... I am about to have my morning shower and there is a big spot right in the middle of my forehead which I so so nearly picked. But then I looked on my face and there are only five really noticeable places where you can see I have picked and those will heal soon and I really really reeaallly don't want to ruin that so I am leaving it alone! Something keeps telling me I may as well give up after I picked my arms and chest yesterday but I am not listening to that - am keeping clear of my face and hopefully the rest of my skin too! Arggg so hard though I think I may shower in the dark.