Newbie wanting to share

Just the relief that somewhere like this exists....thank you! I've suffered from this for about 15 years and I just can't stop. My face is scarred not from acne but from this compulsion to pick. I always carry a little mirror in my pocket so that I can check my face at any time. I also have to check my face under different lights before I leave the house. My face always seems to me to be unclean or clogged. I come from home from work and feel so ashamed that my colleagues must look at my face and think I don't wash. It's this constant checking that inevitably drives me to squeeze spots, blackheads, and pores in an effort to make my face perfect. Herein lies the problem (as you are all aware) as this can only lead to scabs, sores, and scars which in themselves result in more anxiety and more make-up. I can't believe how much time, effort and money I've wasted striving for this perfection and trying to combat all of these perceived and now real flaws that I have. I wish I didn't care how I looked and I certainly don't judge others on appearance. In fact I'm incredibly sensitive and I can't stand bitchy women who have to comment on how others look. I need to stop this. I'm thinking of having hypnotherapy - has anyone tried this method? Thank you so much everyone and I hope you all find your way out. x