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ConnieR , 19 Mar 2011

New to this Forum

I've suffered with this disorder for a long time now, and I feel especially retched, and sick to my stomach tonight. I feel I really need help, and support, so I joined this forum. My husband and I aren't really doing well, I don't know what's happening to my marriage, all I know is that I keep crying. I picked on my skin so bad tonight, and now I look terrible. I don't want to be around my husband or anyone else for that matter. I almost feel panicked, like I'm having a nervous breakdown. I haven't felt this unmanageable in a very long time.My husband looks at porn, and he lost his erection twice with me tonight. My skin is oozing right now, and I picked it out of fear, anger, and frustration. Thanks for being here, and letting me share.
5 Answers
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lexyw
March 19, 2011
I'm so sorry tonights been terrible for you!! hopefully you'll feel better tomorrow. try and put some neosporin and bandaids on what's happened tonight and start fresh tomorrow. it sounds like a really rough time right now and I know that for me, that's when I feel especially terrible about my picking, which is only made worse cuz when im having a bad time i pick a lot! I'm glad you joined the forum. stay positive. just posting here is a huge step in the right direction!
ConnieR
March 20, 2011
Thank you for the response, Lexy. I will definately put neosporin on tonight. It has been a rough evening, but I know it is temporary. I will stay positive, and focus on my blessings.
ConnieR
March 20, 2011
Thank you for the response, Lexy. I will definately put neosporin on tonight. It has been a rough evening, but I know it is temporary. I will stay positive, and focus on my blessings.
lexyw
March 21, 2011
hi Connie! how are you feeling? have things calmed down at home for you? I hope so! try to stay positive and take it one day at a time (or one hour or one minute). good luck!
ConnieR
March 22, 2011
Hi Lexy, I'm doing a little bit better, but I feel very self consiouse. My husband, and I are getting along, but I still struggle with this illness. I feel like I live a lie in relation to my skin. I lie to myself and others about how it really looks. It is hard to look at myself and my life as it really is, and it is especially hard to look at my body as it really is. My husband and I can be pretty abusive to eachother, and that causes alot of stress in my life. I also have friends in my life that are in constant need of my support financially, but do not seem to reciprocate when I'm inb need of simple emotional support. I also have certain people in my life who I feel I can't fully be myself around without experianceing judgment and criticism. So, there are some negative aspects of my life. The fighting with my husband really gets to me, and I hate to have friends that I have to watch out for. More than anything, I want scar, sore/pick, pimple free skin, and have a beautiful life n general. I want safety, and abundance. I want my body to be healthy, and fit. And I want so much to have a loving relationship with my husband. I just want to feel blessed and happy, and I believe I can have these things, it is just a healing a process. Thank you for being here and listening Lexy, I really appreciate it. :-)

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