Disgusted with myself

Ive only recently started looking online for anything related to skin picking compulsions and was really suprised although hadn't yet got the courage to write about it. I have to say i had no idea anyone else in the world suffered from this.I genuinely thought I would have to be the only one to do this.To me i feel so sick, ashamed, and disgusted that i could do such ugly, stupid and unnecessary things to myself. I think i have had this problem for many many years on some level.Im 25 and my problems got so much worse in the last year. I pick all over myself and go into a trance state when Im in the middle of picking and time can go by so quickly without realizing it. I have severe depression and anxiety anyway and the state of my skin makes me want to leave the house even less. I hate being so scared to meet anyone and in no way could see myself gettin a boyfriend anytime soon cos Im so embarrassed and ashamed.when i hav in the past,my skin picking wasn't as bad but i still remember makin excuses why i had marks or felt really uncomfortable undressed. I realize Im rambling but need to get it off my chest to anyone who understands. I was away for the weekend there and all i could think of was gettin home to pick.i felt in a way dirty and had to get rid of these flaws even tho the marks i create are even bigger flaws.why can't i stop this?!!