I cant stop

Also, it may have started out anxiety based, but I don't think that's it anymore. I also chew the skin around my findernails, so they're ugly and deformed. On my thumb I've chewed all the way to the first joint. This is just as hard to stop as picking my face. I read the article on here about it, and i definitely have a problem. I often chew off layers of my skin until they bleed, and sometimes get infected. It is very painful and leads to a lot of visible damage. I have tried all sorts of things to relieve stress and distract myself, but they don't work. I really want to stop mutilating myself, before it starts to seriously affect me. Sorry I wrote so much, I just needed to vent because I never knew that other people experienced this too. Oh my god. I was looking at the other forms of it, and I have way more issues than I thought. Right now I want to cry and never leave my room. I pick my face, lips, cuticles, and do the acne excoree thing. I know I have severe depression and possibly a few other things..... but oh my god. I feel awful and lonely right now. So, It's not a constant thing. Just, when i see a mirror I get sucked in and can't stop. Thing is, it happens every time I see a mirror. Sometimes I'll be picking off old scabs, then go to a mirror and investigate, and an hour later my face looks like a tomato that was attacked with a potato peeler. Sometimes I go to the bathroom, glance at my face, pick a particlarly giant zit, and of course i pick forever afterwards. Everytime I come out of the bathroom after picking, I feel humiliated and ugly, especially when my mom says, "stop picking! why did you pick?" And I know she doesn't understand.Sorry I wrote so much, I just needed to vent because I never knew that other people experienced this too.

So for some reason, just writing about it on here and reading other stories is helping me. I feel encouraged. But I'm still picking my fingers. It's a constant nervous habit and I'm always doing it, even when I'm not nervous.

One of my friends with bad acne told me once that she started picking a lot too, and I was thrilled. I was actually hoping her face would be as bad as mine, because then I wouldn't be alone. I felt the same way whenever someone else showed signs of picking. Difference is, she and everyone else always stopped. It didn't become an addiction. I felt like a horrible person for wishing this on someone else, but at the same time I didn't want to be alone.

Give yourself a break (this is what I'm always saying to myself these days)... you're only human. Everyone has different coping mechanisms and this just happens to be yours. I've found it helpful to aim to pick less rather than to stop. When I felt like I had to stop altogether I felt like a failure when I couldn't stop. However, since I've just been aiming to do it less, I have been able to give myself credit for every little success. Every time I'm able to refrain from picking then that is a success. When I do pick I think oh well doesn't matter and try to let it go. It might help if you put some strategies in place to stop picking... this might give you some ideas http://www.trich.org/treatment/SkinPickingStrategies.html. I think the person who wrote this has been working hard to stop for long time. Take care of yourself and looking after yourself. Good luck!!

I just remembered why I started picking my fingers. When I was little, every few months I would chew the skin right next to the quick of my fingernails. Then I would forget about it for a long time. But one day about two years ago, I did that and then did it again like a few days later because I liked it. I started doing it more often until it got where it is today-- my fingers are bloody and deformed and gross, and my thumb is picked to the first joint. Also when I was little, I chewed my nails all the time, but stopped. Last year I started doing that again, and my skin picking was probably worst then. My nails were chewed waaaay too short, and I would chew the tips of my fingers until they were missing entire sheets of skin on the pads. It was gross and painful. I finally let my nails grow out again, and my fingers may be looking better, but I can't really tell. I also have this scab on my foot, and I keep picking it off over and over, and I get immense pleasure out of making it bleed. I know that is gross and unnatural, but all of these things are so comforting for some reason.

My mom actually gets mad at me for picking. She gives me this look, like I'm doing it just to spite her. It makes me frustrated because she has no idea how hard it is, and now I feel all lonely and it makes me want to pick more.

Just now I noticed a bunch of blackheads on my arms and shoulders, but I really don't want to pick them. My face looks okay right now since it's been a few days since I last picked, and I really want to stop this time. Even my fingers are doing better, and I noticed I didn't pick them too much the last couple of days.

UR MY TWIN! this is the exact situation between my mom and i, same feelings like ur describing, same everything. we need to help each other -candace

Yes. So right now I'm avoiding going in the bathroom because this is when I pick the most, and since I haven't picked in four days now I'm really hoping that I won't again. I know it's easier to stop slowly, but if I can go cold turkey then that would be awesome too. So I'm gonna wash my face and go come right back to my room. No picking. Kay guys?

Just now I asked my mom if I could get some calamine lotion, and she insisted that it won't work on acne, especially if I keep picking it. Everyone here says it works on scabs though. So I don't know.