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sweetpea36 , 08 Jun 2009

Tips

I've found a few things that have helped minimise the picking (and resultant damage). * I agree with one of the postings I read - longer nails means I cant pick so well - but I can scratch better than when I've chewed my nails off .... so it's a 50/50 solution. * I've started taking better care of my face - I exfoliate every 3-5 days which smooths out my skin and reduces bumps for me to pick at. * I was re-doing my bathroom and had to remove the mirror to paint the walls and it broke and I haven't replaced it ... and I have not been able to scrutinise my face searching for blemishes, black heads etc (by the way ... I identified with the post about the twin who uses a needle (or pin) to dig out black heads. * In South Africa we have a product called Tissue Oil and I've been using that so that my skin is not dry. It's excellent for reducing scars. I have put that on when the scabs have gone (not because I picked them off, but because the skin underneath was healed) too so that the new skin doesn't "dry out" and become flaky. * My nails are still an issue - can't afford to get gel/acrylic overlays and I can still bite/pick them off or then I'll attack the cuticles. I hear it's best to keep a pair of nail scissors around and a nail file (emory board) and "fix" them as a nail breaks or your cuticle splits. (My cuticles are currently very sore). * Not sure why I've stopped picking my scalp - just seem to have. More on the psychological aspects: * I try to be kind to myself (that's actually my new year's resolution) - not that I spoil myself, but just trying not to be so tough on myself - I set very high standards for myself which I often can't meet. * I've tried to work through my issues (childhood stuff) - I've read David Seamand's books on Healing of Memories and actually spent time going through the past and the hurtful stuff that happened, acknowledge it and then decide to let it go. * I'm trying to handle conflict and stress differently (hopefully better) so that it has a less hectic impact on me (as mentioned on another post I'm an imploder so internalise my anger and take it out on myself as opposed to exploding and screaming shouting punching etc). * I pray and cry out to God when I'm not coping - I'd never show my vulnerability to another person, but with God it's different - He's all knowing any way so it doesn't shock Him - it may shock my friends, family and Christians, but not God. He knows. Hope some of these can help ... they've helped me so far (I've been a OSP for more than 30 years but only discovered it was actually a real problem 6 months ago) so I hope that they can really change my learned behaviour. Any one else got other suggestions.
11 Answers
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cherrycolalola
June 08, 2009
Not being so hard on myself has helped me too. The sooner I forgive myself for picking the better. Otherwise I slump into a depression and begin to feel hopeless. I meditate too. There's a type of meditation called metta where you send love to others or yourself. I try to do this. To love myself without boundaries. Journaling helps. I write down everytime I pick, what I was thinking at the time, what i was doing right before etc.to try and indentify what triggers me. When I catch myself about to do it I'll sing a little song or dance to lighten the anxiety and make recovery a little less serious( I know it is but I think there is a way to heal using joy sometimes). Setting a stop watch on my phone has helped. I'll set it and see how long I can go without picking. Looking at it when I want to pick helps too, like a way to remind myself I'm still in the game. Being brutally honest about when I'm flirting with the idea helps too. I'll have these bargaining thoughts usually before I start. Like " just this one". Or I'll start scanning my face" just to feel it". It's then that try to stop myself and realize that it's the disease talking. I see it exactly the same as an alcoholic thinking about having just one beer. I say to myself " if you jeep doing this you WILL pick!" it's a matter of when not if. also... Learning to deal with relapse. It sounds depressing, but since I've had this addiction for so long I expect to relapse. But working through it productively,and being conscious of your feelings after, helps and I think is a crucial part of recovering. That way you don't wind up saying screw it, I've already messed up, might as well pick more. I just refuse to give up. Knowing that no matter how many times I fall down that I'm going to force myself back up also helps. When you decide never to turn your back on yourself it gives you a lot of strength. Hope this is helpful.
serenitynow
June 13, 2009
Thanks, cherrycolalola, for that post. I can totally relate to what you describe... I am still hoping to get to that increased sense of awareness when I can hopefully talk myself out of picking. So far it is so automatic and involuntary it feels completely foreign to stop myself. It's very inspiring to think I could stop! Thanks. : )
clarity-alas
June 13, 2009
Hi cherrycolaloloa, thanks for sharing your tips, games, etc. Realizing that "it's just the disease talking" is a really powerful point that you make. It is almost a relief to know that it is an actual addiction and that one can get oneself back! Reclaim our dignity! c.a.
cherrycolalola
June 15, 2009
Amen clarity alas! We deserve our dignity back. Its so crazy how much picking affects self esteem and self worth. I was thinking about this the other day. I started thinking about how long it could take for my skin to heal and how i wished it would heal faster( certain events are coming up soon and I've been feeling the time crunch) Then I thought " u know what I'm gonna let that go". Even if my skin is just as bad in a year, or even if I were to never look better I'm not going to let this hold me back from living. I so often fantasize about what i would do if i had better skin. But in reality there's nothing stopping me from doing those things now. I don't want my freedom and hapiness and sense of dignity to be so dependant on my skin. So yeah here's to getting those things back!
cherrycolalola
June 15, 2009
Amen clarity alas! We deserve our dignity back. Its so crazy how much picking affects self esteem and self worth. I was thinking about this the other day. I started thinking about how long it could take for my skin to heal and how i wished it would heal faster( certain events are coming up soon and I've been feeling the time crunch) Then I thought " u know what I'm gonna let that go". Even if my skin is just as bad in a year, or even if I were to never look better I'm not going to let this hold me back from living. I so often fantasize about what i would do if i had better skin. But in reality there's nothing stopping me from doing those things now. I don't want my freedom and hapiness and sense of dignity to be so dependant on my skin. So yeah here's to getting those things back!
JeannieK
June 10, 2009
wow, perfectionism and a certain level of intelligence seems to run as a theme with many of us. In the states, 'mederma' is a fabulous scar cream. Thank you so much for those tips.
tituspicks
June 12, 2009
something that helps me a lot, but it is quite embarrasing, is to wear gloves. When I find that I can't stop, I have to make myself put on my gloves. Bandaids help sometimes when I can't stop digging at an open sore. I can't wear my gloves at work but most of my picking is where you can't really see. I'll talk about my picking in another LONG post. I'm so glad my husband found this site for me. I hope to just read all the forums when I have days like these when I just can't stop. :(
serenitynow
June 15, 2009
Just wanted to add a few things: I had my hubbie install a dimmer switch for my bathroom since that space is often a place where I pick. I can consciously set the light very VERY dim and still be able to take a shower. Since my arms are my downfall I wait until I'm dressed to put the lights up. Also, for the first time I got gel acrylic nails which are clicking away as I type, but have SO helped with picking the skin around my nails and cuticles. It's pricey, but I am feeling driven to do anything and everything right now. Seeing a therapist and trying to tell more people about my disorder for the first time: hubbie, friend, therapist, Mom... up until this point I'd only told my sister, also a picker. After lots of contemplation, I figured out that as I pick or feel the urge to pick, my self talk is "I've GOT to get it out (for me, the plug of white stuff that accompanies a hair on my arms/legs...)." So when I remember, I'm trying to change the message to "I DON'T have to get it out. It can stay there and do its own thing." These are all very new strategies that I'm trying. Thanks for your ideas as well-- they are very appreciated! Best wishes to all.
almosthealed
June 15, 2009
Yes--I did the same thing, tried to change the message. Now i usually think "the best thing I can do for my skin is leave it ALONE". Which is true!!! I realized that my skin actually can't function very well because of all the picking--I think the pores are actually kind of damaged and can't just take f them selves as well. BUT now that I've stopped picking for several weeks, I get less zits and blackheads, its like my skin has healed even more, beyond just the scabs going a away, my skin actually works better now. The second and third week were hard, because I was actually getting more zits and blackheads than usual! But because I left them alone, they healed, and my pores just started working on their own again. So, changing the message definitely helps, especially if you believe it!
jenna90
April 20, 2010
wowwwwwww. im from south africa and im a passionate Christian. This was so helpful and relevant. My first day is today and its a battle/ the choice iv made to get this under control and stop it dominating my life. thank you for your words. i feel so much less alone

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