personality traits of skin pickers?

wow! i thought that people could read my mind when i was little too. and i have alot guilt even when its not my fault. another thing is that i (used to) let my friends walk all over me.

Characteristics I have along with picking. All of these symptoms wax and wane as - sugar addiction - alcohol addiction (sober 3 years) - gender dysfunction - social anixety - kleptomania - hording and random compulsive behaviors like making sure EvEry Single clothing item i have is in the baskets before I go to the laundry mat.. ----------------the best thing i have found to manage my symptoms is exercise, imagry and meditation, trying to be concious of my behavior and not give into my obsessions!! and to be easy and kind to myself. One day at a time.------------------ also, I have some kinda amazing talents i think go along with being such a unbalanced individual. - talented artist - underdog but excellent view of society and social understanding - perfectionst - in complete control under pressure, great in emergency.

Hi...there are so many common threads here. It does make me feel not so alone! I was pretty well-adjusted as a small child, then started showing signs of anxiety, OCD when I was in middle school. I was very scared and paranoid of everything...contracting far-fetched diseases, other kids disliking me, my mother leaving me. I always had nightmares of being abandoned, and of natural disasters. The more afraid of stuff I became, the LESS I spoke of it to anyone! I had so many fears spiral out of control that if I HAD only confided in someone...anyone...about them, they wouldn't have made so much of my younger years such hell! I too, like I am amazed to see others having written, have had a devastating identity crisis since my early teen years (and now I'm 38, and only in the past few years have I finally become a bit more comfortable. Perhaps it's just "old age" mellowing me out! See there may be some hope for all!). I have always been a perfectionist, got really good grades in school (until I discovered self-medication in early high school and my grades were sporadically not so good), but was very reclusive. The only times I would come out of my shell and pretend to be social was if I was drinking! Lo and behold, I became alcoholic, and in later years, also abused Rx meds. In retrospect (now being SOBER for almost 8 months!), I can now pretty clearly see my trend of self-medicating with substances, alcohol, food, spending, and yes, PICKING. I think probably all of us have FEAR and ANXIETY tightly woven within our very fibers that makes our every move painfully difficult. We are SO tired of living this way, that we are mentally so worn out, that even the prospect of getting our behinds off the couch to brush our teeth, or drive across the street to buy a few groceries, costs more thinking than we have to spare! I don't know about you guys/gals, but I am a major THINKAHOLIC, and I am never, ever, able to quiet my thoughts. Of course, my thoughts are all thoughts of fear, worry, self-analysis. Constant "What-Ifs!" All self-destructive thought patterns. I wish for once I could clear my mind, and just think of something pleasant for a change. Like to recall a relaxing vacation I had, loooooong ago before my anxieties. I just don't have the ability to get out of my own head! It interrupts my ability to ever live in the moment, and to be spontaneous, and to be a genuine friend, mother, wife, person. My mind is always elsewhere and I feel as if I am always "acting", as the present is always secondary for me. Does this make any sense to anyone? I lost the ability as a child to enjoy life, and take every moment as it is. I think we have so much emotional PAIN, for whatever reason, and it HURTS SO MUCH, that we take it out on ourselves, maybe just to be able to punish someone/something. Or maybe we are so uncomfortably numb to the real world, and to true emotion, that we hurt ourselves just to feel something "real". Or, as in my case (I am also ADHD and cannot focus very well on one thing at a time, and get distracted very easily, therefore I rarely can follow through with anything and feel successful. Hey, I am amazing myself by even writing this comment so long!)....my point being that picking is something I can focus on for HOURS, and I do a damn good job of it. I wish I could put forth the same effort and dedication to other, important things in my life! I may have gotten off track, so I'll list a few other traits. People think I've got my stuff together, because I'm quiet, dress pretty nicely, and they think I'm the kindest most innocent person they've ever met. HA! I always think, if they only knew about the constant storms brewing in my head, and if they only saw the scars and scabs and blood under my clothes! What else, I'm a people pleaser. In my 12 step recovery for alcoholism, I am working on that, and now able to recognize some of my own desires, little by little, and how to dissagree or simply say no to others. I think I've lacked any trace of respect for myself, and have been a freaking door mat all my life, and now I recognize this, and am hoping to break out of this mold and take care of myself for once. I hope everyone is looking forward to a pleasant weekend! I know mine is going to be just a bit better now that I've found this wonderfully brave, honest and kind group of people to talk to! :)

I am 26yrs old, with intense paranoia..... even as i started typing this my other half was looking at me and i had to turn my computer screen off momentarily cos i dont like light in my face, cos i think hes staring at my horrible skin... i dont goto shops i send the boyfriend down.. cos i dont like people looking at me... I also have fears of knives. if someone is holding a knife i flinch thinking i am going to get stabbed. I also dont like eye contact or giving eye contact for long periods of time. in a conversation i will generally look at them. and then speak to them with my head facing the other way. to avoid thinking bout them looking at my skin..... even this very minute i am itchy. i am itchy pretty much all the time. But i dont know whether i truly am itchy. or its my mind playing tricks on me... I also have paranoia about nibiru also known as the 12th planet which is apparently going to hit us in 2012... i am not religious in anyways. but for some reason its embedded in my head. and me living not far from a train line. every night every hour as a train comes. i wake up. rush to my window and look out of it. to make sure i can still see the stars and that no nibiru is crashing down. I often get depressed. and feel like doing myself in. seems that it would easier then dealing with this stress day in and day out. year in and year out. the only thing that is keeping me here is my children. I couldnt possibly do that to them. so ill continue living in misery to ensure they have a mum. my father commit suicide. so i know what that feels like. and i couldnt never put them thru that pain........So yes. My problems mainly consist of paranoia, stress and overthinking EVERYTHING

Nothing major here as far as personality issues. I have been dealing on and off with an anxiety problem. Went on Celexa for a while and that helped a lot, but I put on 15 pounds in one year. Went off of it and I'm doing ok, managing the anxiety w/out meds - or so I thought. My scalp and skin picking has escalated quite a lot this past year. I never really thought of it as an anxiety or OCD related problem, but in researching it, I'm finding out that I may need to re-visit the meds again. In all my years of skin/scalp picking, I've NEVER told my doctor about it - too embarrased. I've made a dr's appt to talk about it with him. So glad I'm not alone!

I was a painfully shy child...in fact, all the way up to about 11th grade. I have never been able to look people I'm not 100% comfortable with in the eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. I have always thought people were looking (staring) at me and I hate that! I am generally a very confidant, well adjusted person, although when I hit 18 I started suffering terriable panic attacks. I believe these were brought on by the over use of pot combined with a stressful living environment at the time. I have been on Paxil and Xanax to control my anxiety and panic since I was 18 (13 years). I am currently weaning myself off the Paxil once and for all though. I used to fear "The End of The World" type stuff, but since becoming a Christian I have total peace about that stuff. Other than that, I grew up in a normal, happy home with both parents and a brother and sister. We all got along for the most part. My Mom has generallized anxiety but doesnt pick anything. My Dad has always been a nosepicker and thats where I am sure my picking all started. I have picked my nose ever since I can remember. From there it went to picking and chewing scabs and my cuticles. Then when I developed acne I started picking that. Its gotten worse every year!

hi, I also have the fear that people can read my mind! and other personal things, like emails, letters and text messages. when i was in 9th grade i was dealing with depression, which lasted until 11th grade. Im very paranoid. which goes with fearing people can read my mind. sometimes I cant go in my bedroom or bathroom for days because I think there is someone in my closets or looking in through my window, and they will tape me in the bathroom or changing and show it to people. i have a hard time with emotional and physical intimacy, and i cant look people into the eyes. bleh

Generally, I think I'm a fairly outgoing and friendly person. I have some anxiety/depression issues that I believe are mild compared to some. Most of my anxiety is about getting projects done. I procrastinate which causes me more stress...instant downward spiral. However, I have found that I am picking more frequently and worse than I have in a while. I have a lot on my mind...it just makes it worse. I was on Paxil for a while which was for depression. I found that it did reduce my skin picking but that wasn't the purpose. It caused me to gain weight, I was always tired and I felt rather emotionally dull.

I am a very anxious person. No real major issues as a child but lots of feelings of not fitting in and being different. Felt and still feel that I let people down, that I'm not good enough and that is related greatly to the way I think others (especially my mother) feel about me. I get stressed alot of the time and feel that something really big / bad is just around the corner and it is only a matter of time before it gets me! Crazy huh? Can't relax and generally hate myself (not helped by the picking)... vicious circle.

I actually questioned before men vs women & their picking habits. But you have raised a really good question here. This goes much deeper & really interesting. I am (female), skin picker/eater, age 32 and had a difficult childhood. Father has Schizophrenia, mother worst for wear, divorced when I was 10 yrs old. Lived on food stamps/welfare. Thrown into foster homes. Back to mom but later sexually abused by her new hubby. Mom tried to protect me the best she could but I hid so much from her due to her poor health. So on and on.... I have been skin picking as long as I can remember. Don't worry, I have adjusted quite well since all of my childhood trauma. Although I do have EXTREME trust issues. I have managed stress to zero. I am considered an extrovert. Guess I'd say that my childhood obsticles made me become a skin picker. Cutting hurt & left scars so I chewed/picked my skin off of finger & bottom of feet. Continue with this topic. I think there is a common link in us all. Our own coping mechanisms to deal. Thx!

im a female. 15 yrs old. i come off as a nice, caring person. sometimes people say im spacey or seem "high". but im only like that when im in certain moods. i love making people laugh. i love people who make me laugh. im always there for my friends, and i never talk about them behind their backs. and im in love with music. i write songs and poems all the time. i get straight a's. but i often feel like im going to implode. my parents divorced when i was three because they had constant fights, which i still can remember. when i was five, i was sexually abused by my baby-sitter's son. i've never told my mom. my mom is the definition of a control freak and stress case. i feel like im always doing something wrong with her, or that shes always critizing me (even though she probably isnt all the time). i feel like she only sees what is bad in me and she doesnt know who i really am. my dad is an alcoholic, since i was born. he used to emotionally abuse me. hes been sober for 6 months, but i dont feel like it will last becuase hes relapsed many times before. ive been picking since i can remember. but never on my face. i go through times where i feel on top of the world and then i feel out of it, in a weird mindset i cant get out of. when im in a down feeling, i wonder why im here, like what my purpose is. i used to get really paranoid about stupid things (i once didnt eat my food in restaurants for 6 months because i thought the waiters poisioned the food. i had an intense fear of someone breaking into my house, etc). i dwell on things i cant control. i feel like i cant handle too many things, and im not good at focusing on more than one thing at a time. but most people dont know all of this, especially not my parents. i try to ignore things when they bother me. i hate feeling like im not being heard. music and people are the only things that get me out of bad moods, and sometimes not even that. im really good at hiding my emotions. some weeks i go with eating about 900 calories a day and i count them. then the following weeks i'll eat about 2500. i dont get enough sleep, but ive noticed that worsens with bad eating habits. ive written alot. sorry .. im horrible at describing myself. thats another trait. (?) haha

i inherented my grandmother's nature of worry. my mother (divorced) was never around to help me out with situation when i was a teenage, b/c she worked t osupport us. i was fearful of my brother and druggy friends that i would lock myself in the bathroom after school for hours til mom came home. i was scared. there was the mirror in the bathroom. it became a mechanism to calm my fears - something i could control or do while in the bathroom. i am a very functioning person, well liked, professional, but internally anxious. it wasn't til 3 months ago out of 30 years that i discovered my cause to my picking. my personality traits are all related to fears and family not being available to me.

It is apparent that most of us have similar traits; fear anxiety, unneccesry worry of what if; and for some of us childhood trauma of one kind or another. My story, my real father died in a car wreck when I was 4 months old, my first stepfather beat my brother and my self ( yet I have 2 other siblings he didn't). My mom divorced and then moved and remarried again by the time I was 3. by the time I was 5 he was sexually molesting me and I felt alone and afraid. I was only five and he had me convinced that it was my fault and that I would get into trouble if I told anyone. This continued until I was around 13. So, yes, I have control issues, I am an artist, I am very sensitive to criticism, I am always on the defense, I defend my kids, myself, just about anything. I feel tons of guilt and shame from my childhood. My youngest older brother (whom was not beat) used to hit me and call me names as a child and teeneger, and my mom always took his side. Now as an adult I tend to allow my kids to walk all over me. I'm not a very good disciplinarian. Hell, if I can't control myself, how can I control the world around me? I feel depressed alot also. I also look suspiciusly at men as if they are all child molesters. Even my own spouse (now ex) I was suspicious of. I also self med with marijuana (luckily, in my state it is medicaly legal witha permit). I have been to counseling, taken presrip meds, even made up lies about why I have all these sores. I finally went to my doc and said look at me, what is wrong with me? She didn't know what to say or do exactly. It's only been in the last few years that "it" was even given a name, but it is still unfamiliar territory to most docs. Also have ocd and hording issues I believe.

Well I just poured my heart and life story out under the post "scalp picking" so won't go through it all again. But thought of lots more to share after reading several posts. Seeing lots of commonalities amongst us. What I find most profound is the intelligence of everyone on here. Just the fact that everyone writes in full sentences with proper English, spelling and grammar is so refreshing! LOL I've been on a lot of dating sites over the years and the way guys write so poorly drives me nuts. I grew up in a home with an alcoholic father-but a happy one for the most part. My mom sure wasn't though. She spent a lot of time in bed crying and with chronic headaches like myself. I feel just sick thinking how my disfunction will affect my boy's lives. Like a lot of you I am also very creative and am presently back in college taking graphic art and digital media design. Love the graphic art part but hate the web design and technical aspect of the course. I sit and cry through many of those classes and have anxiety attacks when I have to build a website. Just not my forte! I'm a total right brainer. I'm not a loner, I'm quite an extrovert although I now hardly ever leave the house as it only costs me money. I've become extremely lazy, hate exercise and just don't have any desire to do anything most days. Having to "cover up" from the world (fat and sores) is just too much effort every time I want to leave the house - so another reason I'm content to stay at home. I've never been much of one for the great outdoors anyway. I too am a hoarder which really clashes with being a perfectionist. I have so much clutter and a 17 year old who won't clean up after himself. I know that I can't possibly keep the house up to my standards so I just gave up and don't even try. Before I had kids and much fewer belongings I was a great housekeeper. Now it's so overwhelming - just don't know where to start. And even if I do get something cleaned up it's back to the same mess in no time. I am so ready to be an empty nester it's not funny. 8 months, 10 days and 13 hours till he graduates - but who's counting! Okay so now you all know that I also have verbal (typing) diarhea so I'll shut up now and go to bed. 4AM-I'm a night owl too! LOL