personality traits of skin pickers?

I can relate to alot of what everyone has posted. I never realized how crazy I really am(; All of my life I strived to be that girl; the one all others envy. I have the looks, I mean, I am not vain. But people tell me all the time how "pretty" I am. I know it, but in the back of my head there is always something wrong. This is different from just regular teen girl-poor self imagery. This becomes a problem for me daily. It gets so bad sometimes that I won't leave the house, or go to school. I can not have a "good" day if something about my make-up or hair is wrong. I have picked my skin for a few years now, I realize it is irrational, besides it just causes my nails to look nasty- but I do it to relieve stress. It really helps me. Its scary. Sometimes I bleed. I need support. Or motivation, to actually quit. ---Sorry for the book--- Basically, I can relate to the other "weird" problems. I don't always like getting dressed in my room, for fear someone is watching. I have come to realize that the government watches us, so that paranoia has overtaken my life. I have obsessive tendencies that effect me daily. Yall are not alone!

fear may be a similarity , also are we punishing ourselves, have we had something said to us that created this "i hate myself" scenario as Skin picking is a for of self harm is it not. i feel for me fear, stress, anxiety etc and guilt especially play a significant role. so if we can destress, live without fear, avoid triggers etc, and learn to not put ourselves in the situation of picking i.e. be distracted from the ritual would we stop? i am going to work on this for the next few weeks and let you know how i go. its learning to love ourselves for all our faults and forgive ourselves and others. i hope this helps, sharing is great by the way thanks for your ears and your hearts! tammy x

I am definitely picking from fear and punishment. I constantly feel out of control of my life and that is simultaneously scary and disappointing. I punish myself usually by not allowing myself to do things that I enjoy, and I pick instead. My biggest picking trigger is my perfectionism, and its "floating perfectionism." By that I mean that my perfectionism moves around and settles on different things to attack, but its always stuff that is integral to who I am. Sometimes its body weight/self image, sometimes its that I'm not a good enough horseback rider (something I ENJOY if my perfectionism isn't ruining it for me), sometimes its that I'm not a good enough mother, etc. Its not a healthy perfectionism where I just strive to do MY best, rather I think I should be an Olympic level rider, a super model, the world's best mother, a chef, etc etc. I also have an issue with eclecticism that I'm trying to figure out right now. I want to learn everything to the extent that I impulsively jump on new hobbies and then they stress me out because I don't have the time for all of them. I want more calm and peace in my life where I can read a good book, but then I try to fill up every waking moment with making things or who knows what. Its a fear of being still, of NOT DOING ANYTHING. I feel like i have to be moving forward. And whats worse is when I find a hobby I enjoy I ruin it by trying to make it a lucrative career. I always wanted to work with horses and thats how I started that stuff. I was constantly driving myself to be the best. Now I knit (I find its the best thing to do with fingers that want to attack my skin next to hand writing) and I think I have to make stuff to sell and make money. Ridiculous! I don't have time to make enough stuff to sell and I'm not THAT experienced that I would feel comfortable selling things I made anyway. Sometimes I feel like I'm two different people. The rational one and then crazy one...

I didn't beleive this was a disorder but my husband kept telling me something is wrong with me. I feel better knowing I'm not alone. I really don't know why I pick. I've been reading these posts and a lot of you have had sexual, verbal abuse in childhood. I didn't have a great childhood, but nothing that bad. I bit my nails when I was younger. Nothing serious. I think my Dad stressed me out. Now Im 52 and pick my face and back until I bleed and it hurts so bad but keep doing it. I can totally relate to those that say they go into kind of a trance. That's what I do. I was also reading about OCD and realized that's me! I didn't realize I had that. I also have depression but I'm on effexor and it has helped my depression, but not picking. I found some really good natural oils that have cleared up my face, but then I just pick again and it comes right back. I've always had issues about fitting in. I do have a lot of friends and did when I was younger too but always felt like I wasn't good enough. I always had boys telling me I was cute and had a few boyfriends, but nothing really serious. I got married when I was 18 thinking that no one else would ever want me. After I got married I had men hititing on me all the time. I think it surprised me so much that even if I didn't like them or find them attractive I would respond to their advances just to make myself feel better. When I was in my 40's I had more men hit on me than ever. This totally helped my self esteem, but again, even if I didn't find them attractive, I would respond. I don't know if anyone else has had this experience. I would like to know. I don't even know if this has anything to do with the picking or not, or just the low self esteem.

Ok, where to begin. Over-achiever, observer, self-critical, self-conscius, perfectionist, high demands on self - not others, calm on the outside, dreamy, artistic, highly imaginative, empathetic, protective of others feelings rather than my own, studdered since childhood but I hide it well by avoiding certain words and replacing them with "safe" words/synonyms, restless, when I find peace and concentration I can sit for hours (painting/writing/reading) forgetting about the outer world, ambitious, avoids conflict, difficulty expressing feelings/committing, reluctant to be dependent on anything/anyone (alcoholic mom), detail oriented rather than seeing the whole picture, controlling of myself and my environment, fearful of being misunderstood, fast to give advice but don't take advice from others as well etc etc. In my work-life I am outgoing and social, and I often feel like a fraud. Like I don't belong, but somehow I've managed to get a free ticket and it's taking all my time and energy to appear like I fit in, like I am happy and in control. Since I was a child I feel like i am "wrong", and I'm just holding my breath waiting to see when someone will notice that I am a freak. I have both bdd, dermatillomania and trichotillomania. The last 4 years it's taken more and more control over my life, since my skin's taken more damage and it's more difficult to hide.

Ok, where to begin. Over-achiever, observer, self-critical, self-conscius, perfectionist, high demands on self - not others, calm on the outside, dreamy, artistic, highly imaginative, empathetic, protective of others feelings rather than my own, studdered since childhood but I hide it well by avoiding certain words and replacing them with "safe" words/synonyms, restless, when I find peace and concentration I can sit for hours (painting/writing/reading) forgetting about the outer world, ambitious, avoids conflict, difficulty expressing feelings/committing, reluctant to be dependent on anything/anyone (alcoholic mom), detail oriented rather than seeing the whole picture, controlling of myself and my environment, fearful of being misunderstood, fast to give advice but don't take advice from others as well etc etc. In my work-life I am outgoing and social, and I often feel like a fraud. Like I don't belong, but somehow I've managed to get a free ticket and it's taking all my time and energy to appear like I fit in, like I am happy and in control. Since I was a child I feel like i am "wrong", and I'm just holding my breath waiting to see when someone will notice that I am a freak. I have both bdd, dermatillomania and trichotillomania. The last 4 years it's taken more and more control over my life, since my skin's taken more damage and it's more difficult to hide.

It is just crazy how much I have in common with so many of you. I had a great childhood although I was rather introverted for the most part. I have OCD, and dermatillomania. I've beat depression with preventative measures. If anyone wants help I'd be glad to talk to them but I beat it by sweating (running), using a light box, identifying my triggers and surrounding myself with the right people. I have anxiety that often triggers my picking. I am a senior in college, picking of course for many years. I do not have 'any' friends and by that I mean after high school my interests changed and I no longer fit in with my group. I rarely have contact with them. I also moved in with my boyfriend right after hs. I feel like a reject that I have no friends since I had plenty in high school but can't make any now. It's funny because people that know me think I am fun to hang out with but a real relationship never develops. I have grown accustomed to the fact that I am the odd one and now I love it!- but I think in a away it is becoming a subconscious block to making new connections. I wish i had s great circle of friends and had more confidence being outgoing. My OCD strikes everywhere, sometimes more than others. I am an extreme perfectionist although I am getting better. Because of this I have problems with keeping my house clean (see Flylady.net for help!) and many other things. I can't read magazines without taking notes. I clean my cleaning solution bottles. So many random things... I have had success with reducing my picking with the following techniques: first and mostly my medication (ac zone topical in the morning, oracea oral pill and differin at night), covering my mirror, becoming open with the ones I love ( the only people I have, my parents and my wonderful understanding boyfriend) and getting help. My boyfriend will shout out 'hey, whatcha doin in there!' if I'm in me bathroom too long. It helps so much! I hope any of this was of some help. You are SO NOT ALONE. Whoever you are.. Keep your head up. This does get better. For all you reading lovers, I'm big on personal development and loved the book Steve Pavlina's Personal Development for Smart People. It helps you look at truths in your life, create great habits and organize your life. Keep avoiding that mirror!, :) -Steph

Hmmm..... I like being alone and find it hard to talk to people sometimes. I have a few close friends, but I hang around in a big group of other girls. However, I'm not very close to many of them and they fall out a lot. I like reading and doing stuff on my own. I think I get annoyed pretty easily. I like to think I'm pretty intelligent and I like doing homework. I get annoyed if I do badly (or what I perceive as badly) on a test and I'm pretty competitive. I can also get quite obsessed over things--once it was a band called My Chemical Romance, then it was Doctor Who, now it's Star Trek and astronomy. My mum and dad get annoyed because whatever I'm obsessed with at that point in time is all I'll talk about :) Glad to see I'm not the only one who is ever so slightly paranoid. Conspiracy theories are my thing. ;)

i hate people looking at me and always feel like everyone is when they aren't. if i could stay in my house most days i would.

I'm almost 61 years old and have been picking my lips since I was 11 years old, so that makes 50 years. Cuticles too. I guess I'm more messed up than most. My mom died a long miserable death of a disease that no one understood at the time (emphysema caused by alpha1 antitrypsin deficiency) when I was 11. My dad was an emotional moron and could not deal with the tragedy, refusing to talk about it. I never really grieved until I was 21 years old and in therapy. Also my sister who was 6 years older, was never very nice to me and really enjoyed teasing and tormenting me. So there's another source of childhood pain. But there's also something else: When I was about 6 and would get a little liquid glue on my hands while doing some 6-year-old art project, I LOVED the sensation of peeling the glue off my skin! Also, back in those days we'd go to the beach and get sunburned, and (being pale-skinned whiteys) large sheets of skin would peel off and I loved that too! I think I recall family members taking turns peeling each others' backs. Weird, I know. So there's something deeply satisfying about peeling. So now when I peel the skin off my lips it is quite pleasurable and I try not to peel so deeply it causes pain or bleeding. But what it does cause, of course, is failure of my lips to ever fully heal. And now after 50 years I'm starting to see what looks like permanent damage. I worry constantly about lip cancer. Having lost my mom to a mysterious disease I've been a hypochondriac all my life. Imagine my surprise at still being here after all these years. :) Final note: I actually live a fairly normal life as a professional person with a job, a husband, a lovely 21-year-old daughter (who also has a little OCD but doesn't appear to pick), I am pretty introverted and really enjoy being alone, but manage to function pretty normally in the social world as needed. I LOVE reading everyone's posts!

I'm 22 years old and I have been picking my lips as long as I can remember. I just found out tonight that this is a disorder... I had no idea. I think for myself it's hereditary, I can remember spending weekends at my grandparents house and my grandmother had a habit of picking at her skin, never to the point of bleeding, but it's still something right? Reading through the posts is a little eerie... I too have the feeling of being watched, but it's only when I'm home alone. I peek out the curtains and check out the peep hole on my door in my apartment every so often (only if I'm listening to my iPod) to make sure no one is there. When someone is home with me I don't do that. If I'm not listening to my iPod I don't have that problem. I think that comes from having friends over and listening to music loud when I was maybe 12 or 13. If another girl came to the house and we didn't want to let her/them in sometimes they would peek in the window to try and get our attention... so I guess that's where it came from and perhaps that feeling stuck for me. I also like to talk about the past a lot. Friends, family, games, jokes, funny things that happened. Anyone else do that too? I get uncomfortable around larger groups of people... by larger I mean more than 10 people. Not if I'm out in public, but say it's a group of friends or family, just hanging out or something. I don't have a lot of friends, I tend to keep to myself. When I go out in public alone I sometimes feel very awkward and anxious, mostly when it comes to shopping. I feel like I'm being starred at, I feel like people are looking at me and I feel out of place sometimes. In regards to the lip picking, the only way I can keep myself from picking is keeping lip balm, vaseline, lipstick just ANYTHING on my lips that makes them feel smooth. No bumps. If I feel a bump or a small piece of skin that scratches when I rub my lips together I rip it off. Doesn't matter if it bleeds, it feels like it has to come off.

For me, I'm a pretty normal person. I'm not anti social or scared of social situations like a lot of people here seem to be. I love going out and meeting new people. Might make me a bit nervous at times, but it's just normal. I've picked my fingers down to the middle knuckles ever since I was little. When I was little I also used to pick my scalp, feet, and even my tongue with my nails and teeth until it bled. The only thing I feel I really have in common is the depression. I'm 21 now, but when I was 14 I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety after put in the hospital for attempted suicide. When I was in grade 6 I remember my anxiety being so bad that I would hardly do anything. I felt, every day, like something terrifying was swallowing me whole. My mom had to sleep with me every night and I would just sit and cry for feeling so bad. After reading most of these I realize that I, too, feel like people are watching me a lot of the time. It's not like an overwhelming feeling of being watched or anything serious like that. But if I'm in public or sitting in class or on the bus or whatever, I constantly have to look around or look behind me to see if someone's watching me or something.

Hello dear fellow pickers! Haha! Please excuse my amusement - I am literally laughing out loud as I read all of these posts about cuticle picking. I have been picking since my first year at university. I pick, unconciously while i'm thinking creatively, or thinking anxiously, until my cuticles feel 'even' or smooth - even if it means they bleed. What I want to say though, is that eventhough it may be a 'disorder' or indicative of an underlying emotional trauma which has not been dealt with, I firmly believe life is a case of mind over matter. Yes, it is gross, yes we shouldn't do it because it revolts other people, but yes we should also worry less about how others are seeing us. Worry first about how YOU are seeing you. Since you all have posted, and you all seem quite distressed - I can tell you are not CHOOSING to see the best possible version of yourself 100% of the time. First, you have to decide that you don't like the idea of having gross fingers. Then, you need to ACTIVELY make an effort to CATCH yourself in the act! And when you do, you command yourself to STOP. Against ALL OTHER REASONING, you stop. If you catch yourself before you've done damage, congratulate yourself. If you catch yourself while doing major damage, tell yourself it's ok, but you need your brain to please wake up and have the 'stop' thought earlier on in the process next time. It is a process, there is no quick fix, you can stop because you know you'd prefer not to have gross fingers. Once they have healed completely (approx one month) you will see how normal and beautiful your human hands can be. Love yourself, and others will naturally follow. If they don't, well that's not really your responsibility to change.

Positive: empathetic, kind, genuine, intelligent, spiritual, confident, ambitious, mix of introvert and extrovert. Negative: perfectionist, neat freak, some control issues, mild OCD and depression, anxiety. I have many friends, but I keep to myself and often feel very alone.

Shy, withdrawn, feels like people are always staring at me, I am always stressed and anxious, I get sick to my stomach if I have to be around lots of people whether I know them or not, I too have sexual fears about everyone secretly being a sicko, I have no close friends at all because I keep people at a distance, I really do not like people which can cause problems as I am married with three young children. I am a scalp picker, I scratch skin off of my scalp for hours on end and eat it. The tips of my fingernails are bent, my scalp is bleeding and burning and yet I keep doing it. I don't sleep all night, just scratch my head. I do it more when I get more stressed I think. I am 30 and this started when I was very young, my parents were abusive although they still have yet to admit to it and when asked for an apology I got yelled at.

I don't even know how to describe my personality traits. Depends on who you talk to ;) Positive: Very loyal to friends... its just finding the friends that stick around. I always think of others. I'm sociable and enjoy talking with people. A very hard worker and dedicated to my job(not always a good thing for my stress). I very rarely give up Negative: I can be abrasive to people that don't know my personality that great. I can also be shy. I'm learning to admit i have control issues. I like to be able to control everything going on in my life, and when i cant i panic. I can really sound like a bitch when i really don't mean it. I struggle with getting my point across in a nice way. Very high stress personality I've been diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder, adhd, pmdd, and even ptstd(due to parents divorce when i was younger. Parents were caught up in their own issues and feelings and kind of forgot about me) I think anxiety is a huge common factor for those that pick their skin.

Wow this is me almost to a t. I'm undiagnosed but given the fact that I've been picking at my scalp almost every hour of the day for the past week (the most recent episode, although I don't remember it being this bad..) and growing up I remember I used to pick the top of my feet to the point of scabbing. I don't remember if it ever stopped but after that I remember scratching my arm (I have a scar I kept because I wanted to stop scratching myself and wanted a reminder of how far I've come..hahahhahaha 17 year old me would find the quickest way to end it all if it knew of the hell I was going to put myself through..) and I also remember off and on again picking my scalp until I had scabs all over it.

Sorry I got a little off topic but this is the first time I've had the courage to post on anything like this..

Anyways I haven't read the other comments but the post itself gave me some clarity. I think. I don't know. Please don't delete this post.

My head hurts.