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soembarrassed , 08 Aug 2012

Ruining my face

I am 40 almost 41 and for the last 3 years have been destroying my face. Any little bump i pick at until I am left with an open wound. These wounds used to heal fairly quickly now they take months. They start to heal and I CANT STAND THE SCAB OR FLAKES OF SKIN so of course I pick at those. I really need to stop this as now I am starting to get scars, which then I pick at thinking if I can get that little raised uneven skin picked off then problem solved - no more scar. That is not the case. You then have an open wound all over again that starts healing with scar and all. I cant tell you how many times I have called in to work with one excuse or another as I am too embarrassed to be seen. I have even gone to lunch and picked and called in some "family emergency" that I have to go take care of as not to return. I cant stand the feeling that there is a spot light on every little mark. I constantly watch people's eyes to see if they are looking at my marks. This is so ruining my life. I never want to go anywhere. Cancel plans all the time. My friends tell me I am being parinoid that you cant even tell there are marks on my face. Who do they think they are kidding? I have mirrors (which I look in at least 100 times a day) I can see them, so I know they can. I really dont know why I started doing this. The best I can figure is when I started seeing this guy and felt that I HAVE to have perfect skin or he would not be interested. I know this not to be the case as scabby marks or not he always wants to do something with me. I cant tell you how many times I have backed out of plans with him just so he wouldnt see the mess of my face. I am at a lost on what to do. How to stop. How to heal. I really dont want to spend the remainder of my life with band aids on my face at night trying in vane to heal the mess I have created. Any tricks you all have on healing these nasty marks, or stopping the urge to pick would be greatly appreciated and welcomed.
289 Answers
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soembarrassed
September 23, 2012
Ugh....trentinon cream = dry skin! Made one spot i had dry and peel yuck just what i didnt want to happen!!!!
soembarrassed
September 24, 2012
Seriously....So I somehow scratched myself on the chin while I was sleeping the other night. So I have not picked and now I have a scratch that makes it look like I picked. WTH! Just what I need. GRRRRRR! So I cut all my nails off as that will be the end of that!
soembarrassed
September 26, 2012
So my scratch does not look to bad....it is healing....but it may be a little infected. I am leaving it alone - but dang it is hard I want to pick the scab off as I think it looks hideous. BUT I have reminded myself that it will look a whole lot worse if I mess with it....so far so good. Not sure how long I will be able to keep this up....we will see.
soembarrassed
September 27, 2012
Well I am doing it!!! Have not picked at this nasty scratch....and I am so happy I didnt cause it is looking soooo much better and I know if I mess with it it will look sooooo much worse. Last night was hard I went to the mirror a million times to pick at it - but I didnt touch it - slapped my own hands...lol....and walked out of the bathroom. Also took down my bathroom mirror last night so I couldnt look at it anymore....hard time getting ready for work this morning with a little itty bitty hand mirror...lol
soembarrassed
October 07, 2012
Not so well stupid whitehead got the better if me...so i showed it and turned it into a big red mark! Take that! Does anyone notice that neosporin leaves the skin dry and it peals off sometimes making it worse?
soembarrassed
October 07, 2012
Had a major picking session the other night. Thought neosporin would help boy was i wrong made everything look worse skin peeled off now I look horrible. Having major anxiety about going to work tmrw.:'( I just want to hide and not face all the stares
soembarrassed
October 11, 2012
I wish I picked at a place other than my face! The one place you cant hid what you are doing.
goal orientated
October 12, 2012
Well i think you are doing brilliantly because unlike me, you have it in you to report on this issue every single day :) wish I had that devotion. I wnt to stop but keep getting side tracked. How are you feeling now? Hope you feel a lot better. Sleeping (renewal time) IS a great healer for us skin pickers. And yes, I also wish it was not my face!!!! X
soembarrassed
October 12, 2012
Thank you i am doing better. Still have a slight mark..not as bad as it was earlier. Sitting here feeling bad about calling in to work all week. But seriously i could not face everyone looking like that. Will still be noticable but not as bad. Really hate how this takes over your life it is out of control
goal orientated
October 13, 2012
I have begun wearing very long-wearing and opaque concealer to work whilst keeping everything else natural. I am tired of letting the state of my face over-ride my decisions. With concealer, I have managed to go to a friend's reunion despite scrathing three times in the same morning. My friend said she was glad my face was clear at last. I just smiled. Now I am in charge of my days out - not my skin. Also, a lady a work with visible scarring always beautifies her eyes, hair and lips instead. It successfully ditracts attention away from her heavily scarred face. The students call her beautiful. They are correct. Her skin is veryyyyyyyy scarred. She does not seem to be affected by it at all!
MysteriousSunshine
October 12, 2012
Just want to send out BIG HUGS to you. I too, am hiding out today after a major session last night. But, I finally told me husband about this terrible issue. It was absolutely embarrassing, but he was very supportive and told me that he hadn't noticed (lol). Like you, I pick when there is major anxiety in my life. Last night, it was out of control. Now, I sit here covered in sores with a mask on my face. Wouldn't dare leave the house today and am hoping for miracles by Sunday. Just wanted to offer my support and understanding. Tomorrow is a new day. We can start our healing right now. xx
soembarrassed
October 14, 2012
Well i am now down to a faint pink spot. Hopefully i can cover this for work tmrw. I just need to remind myself this is better than what it was a week ago. I never want to go through this again. I hope i never go through this again.
soembarrassed
October 14, 2012
Ok first I need to apologize to everyone on the forum. I am sorry. Yes I pick my skin. But I dont have it as bad as some of you on here. I will pick one spot over and over. That one spot will look bad but the rest of the skin on my face looks fine. Reading all your post you all seem to have it way worse and would probably be happy with one spot like I deal with. I am so sorry that I make a big deal of what I lam going through. I have selfestem (sp) issues and one little pimple..whitehead drives me insane making a mountain out of a mole hill. But it is only one spot not my whole face. You all are exceptional women and way stronger than me. You are all beautiful and should be proud of what you have overcome....will overcome...be proud of who you are! Dont hide in shame! Live your lives! Love youselves you deserve it no matter what! Sending love and support your way!

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