Online Test

Find out the severity of your symptoms with this free online test

Take the test
Evey , 07 Dec 2010

Anyone else who just wants to stop? Let's help each other!

Hi All, I'm new to this forum and reading through all the posts, although bringing me to tears, also made me feel such a sense of relief and unity as my actions and feelings are mirrored by so, so many of you. My picking is out of control. I'm almost afraid to admit how long its gone on...at least 14 years...i'm 26 now. Like many of you, I pick almost everywhere possible, any bumps (real or imagined), ingrown hairs, blackheads, spots, scabs. I don't know why I do it - it doesn't seem to matter if I'm upset or not, it's just a complete and utter complusion. I'm pretty, good job, great friends and family, I take so much care of my appearance and work out like crazy - but every single day and night I maim myself. Going 1 day without picking would be a a huge achievement for me. I don't ever leave the house without make up, I don't go swimming anymore or do anything that would show off the tops of my legs. Often I have to force myself to leave the house after spending over an hour putting make up on and making sure the cuts and scabs I've made are covered as much as possible. I absolutely hate that I do this, I'm so, so ashamed of myself. The only person I have ever told about it was my ex (and that was becauseI couldn't hide it anymore) who was very understanding. I would give anything to stop. I've tried hypnotherapy, but sadly this didn't work for me. I saw another earlier post about the 21 day challenge and was wondering if anyone out there would like to start this with me this week? I really think it would help so much to check in with other people and see how we're all doing, posting each day to motivate each other. If anyone is interested please post and we could choose (God, I almost wrote "pick" there then thought the better of it!) a day to begin and go from there? During the 21 day period I'm going to force myself to wear gloves and a head scarf at night to stop the picking and turn off the light in my bathroom so I can't see in the mirror when I take my make up off. I just want to stop it so I can have a normal life. Thanks all, Evey
73 Answers
Add Comment
Evey
December 07, 2010
Eek, sorry about the awful layout of the above...i spilt it into paragraphs but it all merged together when I posted. Please still take the time to read it (if you can!).
lightprincess
December 08, 2010
I just found this site/forum today, but already I'm feeling a lot better about what's going on with my face. I'm so glad it's not just me. Could you tell me more about the 21 day challenge? I think it's something I would really like to do, I think it'll be better if I'm doing it with someone else. Especially since my mom is planning to take me to the doctor soonish and she'll definitely know how bad I am about picking if she sees me like this. Btw I just turned 16 and I've probably been picking ever since I was 12. Everything I've seen people say about it here has struck very much home for me.
Evey
December 08, 2010
Hi Princess, great to hear from you. Isn't it the best feeling to read through the posts here and think "that's just like me" and "I do exactly the same thing" - and you no longer feel like the problem we all have is so shameful, as many, many others are exactly the same. I read on another post that it takes 21 days to change a habit so the person who posted this was going to try and stop picking for 21 days, with the help of others on this forum, to see if they could "break" the habit. I thought this seemed like a great idea, as if a few of us started around the same time we could all check in with each other every day, encourage each other, give tips on what has worked or not worked, and just be there for each other if we have a bad day. Im going to try and start today, and will post my progress tomorrow. Going to the doctor could be just the motivation you need to stop, so taking the challenge now, while that is in the back of your mind, could give you the extra strength you need.
C.Michelle
December 08, 2010
I am new to the site and came across your post. It seems like we share the same story. I am 27 and have been picking since I was 11. I am somewhat of a high-strung person and very much a perfectionist. Other than that I am emotionally pretty balanced. I was briefly mediated for anxiety once during a really rough period of my life, but I don't think I qualify as depressed or OCD as many articles suggest can go along with compulsive picking. I never actually realized my picking could be emotional until my boyfriend had an "intervention" to tell me he thought I was a compulsive picker and show me what he had read. Sure enough, it fits me to a T. I never would have guessed it was anything other than a bad complexion. In any case, my real problem area is my back. It is starting to become scarred. I pick my face as well, but don't do nearly as much damage. I pretty much pick anywhere and everywhere if I feel any sort of imperfection. At times I will pick my legs, my arms, my chest. Those not so consistently, though. I have always just thought I struggled with acne, but I think it more or less is in my head. I would love to correspond with you and see if having a friend to go through this with could be the solution I need.
Evey
December 08, 2010
Hi - wow your comment ' I have always just thought I struggled with acne, but I think it more or less is in my head.' really struck home with me - i used to brush my picking off by telling myself i had terrible skin and that was just the way it was. One year, back when i was about 17, I went to a dermatologist, who told me that the main thing she saw on my skin was cuts. I got really defensive and said, 'well I wouldn't be squeezing if they weren't spots'. Had i been honest with myself I would seen that almost everything on my skin is my own doing. Like you also, I am a highly-strung person and do put a lot of pressure on myself to look a certain way (I know that seems like a contradiction for someone ruining their skin themselves) and do well academically and in work. I'm a terrible worrier as well. But I find exercise, particularly running, helps me relax. However, I ran 8k last night and still came home and maimed my scalp for a good hour in bed so who knows.... I'm going to try this 21 day challenge and am hoping the difference this time will be the support on this forum, and not wanting to let you all down : )
C.Michelle
December 08, 2010
I had a Dr once suggest I try Xanax because they thought my "acne" may be stress related. Oddly, that diagnosis came the closest to finding the actual cause for my picking. Like I said, though, I'm a fairly emotionally balanced person, with no other signs of OCD (unless you count some of my strange picky eating behaviors), so it didn't make sense for me to take such an extreme step just for the sake of my skin. Now I almost wish I had tried it. Instead, I have spent the last 2 years trying to find what chemical triggers I could be putting on my body with no clear results. I have researched cosmetics, detergents, bath products and such until my head ached, spent countless hours nit-picking through ingredient lists on them, spent Waaaay more money than I am used to spending on such things, and still my "bad skin" has persisted. I haven't let a sulfate, a comedogenic or a non-organic ingredient touch my skin in almost 18 months, and my skin looks as bad now as it did when I began. That's how I knew my boyfriend was right when he said it may be in my head. So, admitting it was the first step. Being sick of it and wanting to change was the second, and now, seeking help is what's next for me. I still don't have a clear plan. I know I need to chop off my nails. I still try to pick when they're short, but I do less damage. I also think I want to enlist help. My boyfriend will be a huge help in catching me in the act and reminding me to quit. He already does. Now I need to enlist a friend at work, and my sister at home. That's what I am aiming for at least. If anyone has other suggestions, I welcome them.
Evey
December 08, 2010
My ex-boyfriend used to try and help me but most of the time i got annoyed when he told me to stop picking, I think because i'd have drifted into my little picking trance and felt like he was disturbing me, or other times because I felt ashamed that he'd "caught" me and so I'd snap at him. I've never told another person (apart from the hypnotherapist I went to) about the CSP. I'm actually so embarassed about it. But I'm sure my close friends have noticed me doing it, although I really try hard not to pick around others, sometimes I do it without even realising. And its pretty hard for people around me not to notice the scabs and cuts on my face, arms, ears, neck, chest etc, despite my best efforts to hide them. Day 1 didnt go very well for me today. I was super stressed about exams and study and took it out on my poor face. But I am determined to have a picking free night...I've already taken my make up off without picking and just blow dried my hair to help make me stay away from my scalp. i'm going to file my nails as short as possible now and put some gloves on to sleep in. I hope to be able to come on here tomorrow and happily share with you all that i had a pick-free night.....here's hoping. Good night all. Evey
C.Michelle
December 08, 2010
I get mildly annoyed when my BF points out I'm doing it, mostly because I'm embarrassed to be caught, like you said, and partly because I didn't feel like I COULD stop. So far I haven't tried consulting a professional for help. I've been to dermatologists, but that has done little more than dry my skin out and make it ultra sensitive. So, if I decide to go that route, it will definitely be to a therapist that specializes in CPS. For now, though, I really can't afford doctor visits, so I'm going to do the things that have helped me before, and kick it up a notch. I'm going to cut my nails short so I do less damage, I'm going to avoid mirrors, I'm going to go tanning ( I pick less when my skin is darker and blemishes are less obvious) and I'm going to get my boyfriend to harass me into complying with my rules. The only thing I'm going to have trouble with is the absent-minded picking I don't realize I'm doing. That is mostly my back and my chin. I do that at work, I do that in public, I do that in the shower, in bed, at home......I can successfully curb my compulsion to pick in front of the mirror for the most part, but it's the unconscious scratching that is really tough for me to control. Any suggestions?
Evey
December 09, 2010
I don't think a dermatologist could help me either, it's not my skin that's the problem, its me. I'm thinking, depending on the cost involved, of enquiring about that behavioural therapy. Maybe i'm wrong in thinking this but I don't actually want to sit with a counsellor and work out why I started picking, i just want to get out of the habit and look forward...I don't know if that's naive of me? Like you, being tanned helps me too so I'm going to keep that up and keep the nails super short. I managed not to pick last night, but a couple of times today I've found my fingers going up to my face without even realising....i think when i find that happening i'm going to stop whatever i'm doing at the time, like reading or watching TV, and get up and do something that involves my hands, or do a few exercises - anything!
C.Michelle
December 10, 2010
Well, getting through a whole night is good progress. I'm having the same trouble with the subconscious picking. I think for me that will be the hardest part. I managed to stay away from the mirror today, so I didn't do any deliberate picking, but I caught myself scratching my temple and my chin a few times. I know what you mean about wanting a cure rather than background info, but I worry that we may not get one without the other. It's important to know why you started and what triggers it in order to know how to stop. I can't afford therapy right now, so joining this forum is my attempt at a support group approach. Already I think it is helping. I told my boyfriend about my decision to join last night, and he was very supportive. Day one went better than I thought it would, but I am going nuts in my own mind. My skin just feels like its crawling with little bumps I need to extract. I know its not, but I can't help feeling like I should check just to be sure. Of course I can't, because then I would end up finding some invisible clogged pore that I dig at till my skin is bruised and bleeding. Sigh......I really hope 21 days is enough for a permanent change. I don't want to relapse once I get that far.
Evey
December 10, 2010
This is definitely a cost effective form of group therapy! I think actually being able to talk honestly about the picking just makes me feel better. You're boyfriend sounds great, he seems to really want to help - it's so nice to have someone there for you. I mangled the little bumps, real or imagined, on the backs of my legs last night, and despite hating myself throughout doing just could not stop. I absolute kill myself in the gym and running over 30k a week so that I look toned, then I pick myself so much that I can't even show my own skin. Skin picking must be the most counterproductive complusion in the world. Oh I hate this....
aileenpath
December 08, 2010
Hi. I am 34. I came across this forum today and am really determined to change this habit. All you said is true for me too. I am ready to start the any day challenge to stop it. I am sure we can help each other. Thanks, Aileen
Evey
December 08, 2010
Hi Aileen, it's such a comfort to find so many others who are going through this, and for the same lengths of time, if not longer than me. Finding people who can completely relate to my situation and have the exact same feelings - guilt, complusion, relief, sadness, throughout the picking cycle has made me feel like less of a "freak" about this awful habit that has managed to consume me. The scary thing for me is that when I stop to think about it, it's getting much worse each year. I've found new places to pick, like my scalp, which only started a few months ago, and have really made some awful cuts on my skin, leaving me with scars practically everywhere. it scares me to think they might never go away, no matter when I stop. But I really want to do this challenge and see if I can make a difference so no time like the present - today is my day 1.
aileenpath
December 09, 2010
Hi Evey, I am really happy taking part in this forum and I am sure it will work for me. Once I used to daydream a lot which interfered with my daily activities but I managed to take it under control. Skin picking has been the msot undesired habit in my life and despite many attempts I have failed to stop it. My husband is a psychiatrist and has prescribed me different combinations of medications but never worked and he admits that skin picking is one of the most retractable disorders to treat.Yesterday I started a 30 day trial and today is my day 2. I feel proud lf myself. It was not very tough yestersay but I am sure maintaining the cinsistency would be the bottleneck. I will keep reading your posts. Good luck
Evey
December 09, 2010
Hi Aileen, a big congratulations to you! Day 2 and counting, that's fantastic! I had a picking free night last night and so far so good today! Checking in here is really helping me as I find myself wanting to do well and have some positive news to share. All we can do is take it a day at a time and try to find the little things that help us not to pick. Please share any hints or tips you have that are helping distract or stop you. Thanks!
aileenpath
December 10, 2010
Dear Evey, I am glad we share what we are going through these days. Today is my day 3. I keep distance from mirrors which I have stuck post-its on them. Sometimes specially study time I feel itchy at my back, neck, arms and scalp which is hard to neglect. I use my palm to scrach instead of finger tips. I have trimmed my finger nails as short as possible. I wear night gaurd between meals in order not to pick my lips by teeth. Your posts really help me. Thanks and Good luck.
Evey
December 10, 2010
Good work Aileen, you're doing so well, 3 days is a great achievement. My second night was a complete fail and as you can read in my post above and i'm really annoyed with myself - but I haven't picked during the day today and i'm absolutely wrapping my hands up tonight so I am pyscially unable to pick tonight.
aileenpath
December 11, 2010
Dear Evey, thanks for your post. Today is my day 4. I feel itchy everywhere through my body. I am not sure if it is the result of healing process or something psychic but I know that I should resist. I have been successful till now but I have started to doubt about the ultimate result. Is a lifelong habit going to be changed in 21 or 30 days? A tetrrible fact is that I have noticed my 4.5 year old daughter picks on her finger nails when she is excited about something. I feel guilt about it. what if this is a heritable trait? I feel curious about how my face skin appears now that I dont pick and consistently tempted to get close to the mirror to check it but post-its warn me away. I am sure wrapping will help you. Good luck.
aileenpath
December 08, 2010
It is very important to ponder why we failed to stop picking through all these years (for me 25 years). I am not sure if we could figure out all the causes but lack of consistency and poor follow up take part. aileen
no_more_yo
December 08, 2010
Hi Evey... I like your idea of using the gloves at night. I may try that too. I just read the 21-day challenge last night and decided to start today. Last night after I went to bed was pretty hard. Typically, I get into bed and immediately start feeling around on my legs/hips/butt/arms for things to scratch and pick at. I started to last night, then remembered no! The only thing I could do was clasp my hands together and grit my teeth until I fell asleep. Now I'm getting ready to go to bed, and for me, night time is Always the worst. On to day two (I hope...)

Start your journey with SkinPick

Take control of your life and find freedom from skin picking through professional therapy and evidence-based behavioral techniques.

Start Now